Critters we have met

Fricking tourists.

For me, one of the highlights of travelling is getting up close to all the odd animals they have in different parts of the world. The past few weeks have been great for that. As well as the giant spider, camels, fox and elephants mentioned already, we've had to give way to water buffalo in Laos, avoid the dozens of peacocks wandering outside the royal palace in Dubai, and been rather nauseated by the menu in a Vietnamese restaurant. Civet and pangolin? Aren't they endangered?! Thıs was the same restaurant that served crocodile - which I do not recommend, unless you like your meat fattier than Homer Simpson.

My favourite animal encounter happened at a park in Bangkok. We were sitting reading our books when we saw something moving in the water that wasn't a fish.

Then, as Agatha Christie was about to reveal whodunnit, this little monster appeared a couple of metres away.

It was about a metre long and its forked tongue flıckered in and out like it thought the air was ice cream. You should have heard the sound Lauren made when she saw it. She had already been shat on twıce by pidgeons that day, so clearly the animal kingdom was conspirıng against her.

To be fair, she was not nearly as wimpy as me when I found a cockroach in our room on the boat in Halong Bay. I'll sidle up to critters that could rip a limboff (see the pic below), but cockroaches turn me to jelly.

Phet the orphan tiger, rescued from the black market in Laos.

A hat-hungry eagle in Dubai.

Into the West

Between feelıng more anonymous, the hıgher prıces, better hygıene standards and ınternet cafes that cost a lımb or two, ıt dıdn't take long after landıng ın Vıenna to feel well and truly lıke Tane and I had returned to the Western World. At fırst ıt was a bıt of a let-down. We'd gotten used to beıng in places where we stood out lıke a four headed Martıan covered ın pınk polka-dots, where lıttle ıs more facınatıng than just walkıng down the street and lookıng around. Vıenna though ıs a fabulous cıty, and after we decıded that as far as we were concerned a NZ dollar and a Euro are the same (to avoıd wantıng to cry when payıng for thıngs) beıng ın Vıenna was great. The cıty ıs steeped ın hıstory, and fılled wıth constant remınders that ıt was one of the most powerful cıtıes ın the world untıl World War One. Thıs ıs a photo of the Hofburg Palace ın the centre of town.

Peppered between the majestıc buıldıngs, Vıenna ıs also fılled wıth statues of famous Austrıans. Many of whom I had not realısed were Austrıan untıl seeıng the statues, but I wouldn't want to admıt that to any locals lest they spıt ın my apple strudel.

Statues everywhere. Although we dıd notıce that there was no mentıon anywhere of the most famous Austrıan ın hıstory ....

The hıghtlıght of the trıp was a vısıt to Belvedere, the Hapsburg's old Wınter Palace. The buıldıng ıtself was amazıng, and we were pleasantly surprısed to fınd that the palace had an exhıbıt of the art of Klımt and hıs contemporıes ınsıde, so we could celebrate our return to Europe by pretendıng to be cultured.

After beıng ın Vıenna, we flew to the cıty that ıs goıng to become our home ın a month or so, London. Our fırst ımpressıons were favourable - the tube durıng rush hour was bearable ın spıte of wearıng backpacks and spendıng much of the journey wıth a stranger's crotch ın my face, we had been forewarned about standıng on the rıght hand sıde on escalators so havıng frantıc Londoners dash past us on the escalator wasn't as dauntıng as ıt could have been, and the weather was lovely. We heard ıt was the fırst nıce day they'd had ın weeks, but at least now when we return ın October to terrıble weather we wıll know that the sun does shıne once ın a whıle and ıs not a myth akın to the Easter Bunny and Santa.

Trafalgar Square. One of the many places we went that remınded me of playıng Monopoly

It was a flyıng vısıt and Stephen was an excellent host, and although we were there less than 36 hours ıt was long enough to get the ımpressıon that movıng there was the rıght decısıon to have made.

St Pauls

It was also long enough to see a fox, whıch looked lıke a poınty dog. So now I wonder why ıs callıng someone a fox a complımemt but callıng them a dog an ınsult? I suppose I'll just have to add that to one of London's enıgmas, along wıth how do women ın London manage to run down escalators ın heels wıthout face plantıng? Boggle goes the mınd.

10 things found in a Dubai mall

There are so many interesting things that can be found in the massive Emirates Mall. Of note:


1. Shops of all descriptions, from Armani to the Dubai equivalent of the warehouse

2. Scantily clad westerners

3. Men in white robes and women in burkhas

4. Women in burkhas listening to i-pods and wearing very very cool accessories while carrying beautiful handbags

5. A ski slope. With snow. Even though it's 45 degrees outside.

6. Women in burkhas eating McDonalds

7. Muslim prayer rooms

8. Life sized statues of Star Wars storm troopers

9. Lauren happily shopping





10. Tane retreating to a movie theatre to avoid women's clothing stores

Feeling hot hot hot in Dubai

When we arrived in Dubai, the pilot announced that it was 32 degrees. He then went on to note that it was 4.30 am. With the heat this afternoon reaching 42 degrees, I am beginning to understand why so many of the local men wear outfits that remind me a tad of bed sheets. It serves us right though - not only are we in the Arabian Peninsular, but it is the middle of summer here to boot. In spite of the sweltering heat, though, Dubai is simply fabulous. I love it. This city has a really special pulse, and you can tell that it's on the verge of being a must see destination. Also, random fact - 30% of the World's cranes are in Dubai as the government goes nuts to try and make it just that by the year 2011 according to a local we met.

Cranes cranes everywhere ...

The highlight of Dubai so far was going to the desert and hanging out for a while - at least until the hot sand started to hurt my poor feet that are unused to burning hot sand. Tane, though, had the foresight to wear boots. We got taken on a four wheel drive trip up and down the sand dunes and into the middle of no-where. After I realised that driving around the dunes at high speeds was not going to cause untimely death, I was able to sit back and enjoy the scenery. Stunning.

Tane may have been a smug boot wearer, but karma hit him back and made him extremely carsick. But. if you're going to pick anywhere to be ill, it might as well be here, eh? And where else would you meet a car load of Saudi Arabians to mock you for vomiting?

Tane before he was kneeling in the sand retching


The day was finished off by a camel ride and belly dance show at a camp in the sand. The camel ride was hard work - they are quite gurgly scary beasts up close. I think I'll stick to elephants from now on.

Tane and a camel that we assume was called Alice due to its one hump

There is one place in Dubai that we did not go - to the World's only 7 star hotel. We were told that rooms start at $NZ2500 a night, and that even eating breakfast inside costs about $150. This was as close as we got given that we are mere plebs.


Yay Dubai! I totally recommend visiting here if you get the chance.

One Night in Bangkok

According to the 1980s classic One Night in Bangkok, the world's your oyster, the bars are temples but the pearls aren't free. The song also promises that you'll find a god in every golden cloister, as well as a host of other suggestive lyrics. After only a few hours in this city and some wandering around the night markets, Tane and I had been propositioned in ways that I dare not describe in detail lest my blog come up in less that wholesome Google searches. Golly gosh. This city should carry a R18 tag.

Love and loathing in Laos

Today is our last one in Laos, and it's been a delight. In the last two of days we've done a couple of half-day trips out of Luang Prabang to two of the big local attractions, a very cool waterfall and a couple of less-than-amazing caves filled with Buddha statues. The journey up the Mekong and a tributary river was worth it though.

Lauren at the waterfall.

So goodbye Laos, I hope to come back and find you not too touristy. Sadly, I suspect you will be. Vang Vieng, or Vang Vegas, feels like it's more about helping backpackers get drunk and stoned cheaply than anything else, and Luang Prabang has plenty of places that sell burgers and chips.

Here's a summary of what I loved and loathed in Laos. I'll start with the bad stuff.

What I loathed

Losing my wedding ring in Vang Vieng. Yes, I know, I'm a moron. I was gutted - I loved my silver ring with its koru pattern, and I loved showing off that I was hitched to Lauren. I put it down on a chair in a room in our guesthouse and forgot to put it into its case. At some point the chair got moved and I think it must have rolled off. As we were about to board the bus to Luang Prabang I realised I didn't know where it was, and grabbed a tuktuk back. I searched the room, but to no avail. It's either been taken or is in some strange crevice. Which sucks the big one.

Drunken Western Yobbos. We were woken up in Vientiane and Vang Vieng by idiots who make you feel embarrassed to be part of the same culture.

Children trying to get money out of you. Begging isn't bad in Laos, and when you say no to someone who's offering something to you, unlike in Vietnam that's almost always the end of it. But the kids begging, selling nicknacks and offering baby birds in cages are not cool.

Rural poverty. Not quite as bad as Cambodia, but pretty damn bad. Driving through the villages with thatched rooves and walls made of woven bamboo, you feel like insanely wealthy visitors from another planet.

Toilets you have to pay to go in. Sure, they're cheap by NZ standards, but you are paying to use a repulsive hole in the ground.

What I loved

The scenery.


Man, karst mountains are cool. On the road from Vang Vieng to Luang Prabang I stared open mouthed for ten minutes as we passed the steepest mountain I have ever seen. Sadly, the photos didn't come vaguely close to doing it justice.

The Mekong. It's big, it's brown and it's perfect for drinking iced lemon juice next to.


The Laos attitude. It's rare to strike someone who's not friendly, calm and laid back. A pleasant change from Vietnam. Go Buddhism.

Fruit shakes. Fresh fruit ground up with ice, combined with temperatures over 30 degrees, equals ecstasy.

Monks. They have cool robes, they give you directions and they also use cellphones and Skype.


Wats. So ornate, and filled with funky monks chilling out. Though I do wonder if some of the money spend making and decorating them should have gone on better sanitation.


Laos kids. Putting aside my disgust at the underage beggars and hawkers, the kids here are so darn cute. Playing soccer with a toddler, using a cane ball, was a highlight.

Elephants. So big, such amazingly flexible trunks. And, I thought, so placid. Then our bull snapped a small tree like it was a toothpick.


These things.


Essentially an engine on wheels yoked to a trailer, they're a popular form of public transport in northern Laos.

Beerlao. It's apparently the only beer made in Laos, and its yellow signs are everywhere. Including on a t-shirt of mine.



In short, Laos is great. Get here before too many people like us spoil it.

Yay for elephants!

Tane and I have been staying in the small town of Luang Prabang for a few days now. Nestled in the mountains, surrounded by rivers, and heavily populated by monks, the town is like something out of a book. I love it here, it's both relaxing and facinating.

Tane and some monks hanging out on the Mekong

Luang Prabang is also surrounded by jungle, and in that jungle live lots of elephants. Laos is called Land of 1000 Elephants, and today we got to ride one of them. Yay!





Tane and I on our elephant wearing the very nifty hats that we were given to wear for a reason that we were not told.


We went on an elephant trek through the jungle for an hour or two this morning, sitting perched on the top of the elephant in a tiny seat. Our elephant was huge, bashing his way through the jungle like ele-rambo, and taking us up and down muddy embankments. At first, being on the elephant scared the ba-jezus out of me. This was just a smaller Indian elephant too - note to self, never ride an African elephant. I couldn't stop thinking about Stampy the elephant from the Simpsons that lies on his side when you say 'majumbo', and how much I would be squished if that happened.

Once I calmed down it was very fun though, a great experience. Tane loved it to, especially feeding our elephant bananas at the end.

Elephants are so cool, and far hairier than I had thought. After seeing this elephant bash his way through trees, I'd also hate to get in the way of one when they were in a bad mood. Or if the word 'majumbo' actually did make it fall on its side ...

Getting Lost in Laos

Laos is the complete opposite to Vietnam - it is quieter, more relaxed, and we are able to walk down the middle of the road without fearing death. I like Laos a lot, there are fewer tourists and more little children to chase you down the street.

On our first day in Vientiane (the capital), Tane and I merrily set out for the only place that we could change money in the entire country about 2 hours before it closed. After walking toward what we thought was the centre of town for close to an hour we were surprised - we had heard that Vientiane was a small city, but thought that the dirt roads and lack of shops was a bit extreme for a capital. Little did we know we had walked the wrong way.

Walking the wrong way. Fool!

Luckily, in true Laos style, a monk eventually set us right. We found out where to go and now the monk is probably one step closer to Nirvana so it was a win-win situation. I let Tane do all the talking - apparently, if I even brushed up against him the monk would have had to "ritually cleanse" himself for days, so didn't want to risk it.

Tane getting directions from a monk. Notice Tane straining to keep his head lower than the Monk's, as it is a sign of respect to do so. Quite hard when they are very short.

After catching a tuk-tuk, we made the bank just in time to change our money. Lucky, too, as doing so enabled us to see some very lovely temples around Vientiane. Here is a photo of Tane sitting at one of them, Phat Tat Luang.

Tane also got talking to another monk here, and learned that they get up at 4am each morning to meditate. It all felt very quaint and old-fashioned - until the monk's cellphone went off from inside his orange robes. That's modernisation for you, I guess.

We are now in the small town of Vang Vieng, the backpacking hub of Laos. It's a lovely place, but a bit strange as every bar has a large TV, and pretty much all of these are playing re-runs of Friends. We have even heard rumours of a cafe where you can see four episodes all at once. There is some fabulous countryside near Vang Vieng, though, that has made the stop off well worth it.

5 Reasons why cone hats are the new black

After buying a cone hat during a trip to the Vietnamese countryside today, I have decided that they are the new black for the following 5 reasons:

1. It cost 10,000 dong. Don't be fooled by the zeros, that in fact works out to be less than $1. Here is me happily posing in my new cone hat.

2. They are specially designed for keeping you cool. Given the heat today I would not have such a cheesy smile on my face if I wasn't wearing my new cone hat. I now understand why the workers in the rice paddocks wear them.

3. Cool people wear them. Like this lady, who took us for a trip in her boat. She is so cool she can even row with her feet. Respect.

4. Girl power! Only women wear them. Tane is smiling to hide the pain that he is the only one not wearing the must-have garment of the Vietnam summer. Although, the little woman liked Tane after I reassured her that he did not beat me.

5. You are less likely to be nagged at street stalls when wearing one. When asked to buy things, all you need do is tap the cone hat as if to say 'bought my one nick-nack for today, sorry!' Perfect.
Yay cone hats! Get yours at a nagging street seller near you.

Beer or wine?

There is this great place in Hanoi that is famous for its 15c beer, as well as the tiny plastic seats that you have to sit on while perched dangerously close to the traffic. An angry little boy walks around the foreigners, scowling and saying "money, beer!" regardless of whether you have paid or not. We went there last night, until a sudden arrival of the police meant that the owners tried to grab their small plastic seats and get off the street. Once the police had passed through they wanted us to sit back down and relax, but, unsurprisingly, the mood had been broken.

Sitting in the gutter with some people we met at Halong Bay. The little boy (on the right) is probably scowling "money beer", although we learnt about 5 mins later that he can also say 'police'

One of the guys we were with was saying that Europe can be divided into three areas - beer drinking (ie Germany), wine drinking (ie France) and vodka drinking (ie Sweden). He asked us what NZ is and I floundered for a moment. What are we? I wouldn't want to go to Mangatanouka and say wine, but nor would I want to go to the Hawkes Bay or anywhere in Marlborough and say beer. We went with beer drinking in the end. We were, afterall, in a 15c beer shop which involved pretty much sitting in the gutter. And as if to prove the point, it was the same place where we met the only other Kiwis we have seen on this trip so far.

Thanks, the Amazing Race

Earlier in the year, Tane and I were sitting at home in Wellington watching the Amazing Race. The contestants were racing around a place that looked fabulous, Halong Bay. It wasn't a coincidence that we booked a trip to North Vietnam a week later.

Tane and I have just been to Halong Bay for the past three days, staying on a boat, cruising the bay and having a fabulously relaxing time. In between sitting on the deck and getting sunburnt, we also did some quasi Amazing Race stuff - kayaking, swimming, and seeing caves. This is a photo of Tane in front of a boat like the one we stayed on.

One of the highlights of the tour was a trek up one of the hills, where Tane made a new friend (below). A Swedish woman on our tour actually got nightmares from this spider. As for us, we now have an enhanced respect for the troops in 'Nam that had to avoid spiders like this as well as the Viet Cong.

Halong Bay was so fabulous, I am so glad that we were watching TV that night, so I suppose the moral of the story is to be a couch potato. Yay! Apparently Halong Bay was also featured in a James Bond movie, but as it was pre-Daniel Craig Bond, I'm not so interested.

A floating shop, selling goods for the price of a limb. Needless to say, I still bought coke ...

A small fisherman

When we were in 'Nam

Tane and I are in day two of our time in Vietnam. So far it's great fun, Vietnam is an amazing place that's intimidating and exciting all at once. We spent the first day feeling more than a little shell shocked, but once we figured out how to ignore the hustlers, rickshaw riders and locals trying to fob off dodgy copied goods, Tane and I both started to really enjoy ourselves.

The trip over was long and nasty on account of me having a really bad cough and cold - all the crazy business of the last few weeks in NZ caught up with me the day before we left and I got really ill. Poor Tane, a sack of pototoes would have been better company on the flight over, not to mention coughed less. A sleep in Bangkok and a Thai Coke Zero saw me right though.

We flew into Hanoi on Friday morning. After seeing so many Vietnam war movies, it felt like we should be arriving by helicopter and have to run in slow motion from napalm at least once during our trip. Turns out, though, that the Vietnam war seems all but forgotten, not a trace of it anywhere. Even when we went to the "Hanoi Hilton" today (the place where American GI's were kept during the war) the only mention the war got was that Americans protested against it and that the GI's were (apparently) well treated by the Vietnamese government.


The traffic, though, is probably just as dangerous as napalm. Tane and I have found that if we walk together, look one way each, and run, we are able to cross without getting hurt. Each time has my heart rate going faster than the crazy Vietnamese on motorinos, and I swear I will never complain about Auckland drivers again. This is a photo of Tane crossing the road:

As I am running out of time (we are heading out to brave the traffic to have dinner with a backpacker we met from Austria), I think I'll just leave you a few picks of 'Nam.....


Haggling with a street seller around the corner from where we are staying. After this photo was taken, the little woman in yellow actually chased us down the street in an attempt to sell us bananas.


"Are we on Pho Hang Trong or Pho Hang Non? I have no idea how to find that bakery we saw yesterday ... "

One more sleep

One more sleep!

Tonight I will probably be counting more sheep that a King Country shearer and turning myself into a Lauren-Sheet-Pretzel due to being excited/worried/happy/sad/excited again about heading to Vietnam then beyond tomorrow. My bags are packed, and in true whangai tradition I've left Max my cat with Dad in Johnsonville. There is lots about NZ I'll miss, like friends, family, and the lollies only bought in New World supermarkets. On balance though I am very excited about finally dealing to those itchy feet.

And as I have blogged about my cat yet again I am very clearly on the downward spiral to being The Simpsons Crazy Cat Lady. Which might be bad, but I'd rather be her than anyone from that inferior cartoon The Family Guy.

Top memories of the last few years

1. Getting hitched with Lauren. How could the civil union not be No.1? This morning I looked at the photos for the zillionth time, and that giant, dorky smile still comes over my face. Family, friends, making the most important commitment of my life to the most wonderful person I’ve ever met, and so much great food. Happy happy, joy joy.
2. The fire at Morrinsville. Last year, I saw a man banging his fist against the wall of a blackened house. His dead baby was inside. There were scores of people standing around, but his swearing was the only thing breaking the silence.
3. Walking out onto the edge of Panekiri Bluff. All that trudging up hill was worth it for the stunning view of Waikaremoana.
4. Caving at Waitomo. Abseiling into the depths, floating on tubs, looking up at glow worms, walking through steams in absolute darkness, struggling up waterfalls with Chris. Deeply satisfying.
5. Lauren locking the keys in The Rambler. Whanarua Bay, the first beautiful day of our trip around the East Cape. "Tane … I’ve done something stupid …" Thank goodness Mr Random Mechanic, probably the only one for 50km, lived within a 20 minute walk.
6. Floating over Hamilton in a hot air balloon. Everyone should do it. Both calming and exhilarating.
7. Getting our ancestry visas for the UK in the mail. I was giddy with relief. Thank you, blog, for proving our relationship!
8. The Dragoween Party. Dressing up a Lauren – complete with wig and chest enhancements – then not being able to find a park near our flat. I had to walk the streets of Brooklyn in high heeled boots and a skirt. Fortunately, everyone was watching Guy Fawkes.
9. Dancing to Goldenhorse at Bar Bodega in Wellington. Lauren and I doing ceroc to ‘Godlen Dawn’. We were so hot.
10. Iggy Pop going mental at The Big Day Out 2005. My god, that man would be amazing if he was a third his age.
11. The Rolling Stones in concert. See above, and change ‘man’ to ‘men’.
12. Hosting the Ministry of Research, Science and Technology’s James Bond – themed ‘Buwaldadash’ social. Thanks, Jinx and the team.
13. Finally getting my drivers’ license. ‘You did a few things wrong …. But you have passed.’ That was one heavy monkey sitting on my back.
14. The Tongariro Crossing. Like walking across an alien world.
15. Sitting beside the Waikato River with Lauren on a beautiful day, watching time go by.
16. Chris and Mel’s wedding. Perfect weather, great company, a meal to die for.
17. The walk to Pencarrow Head, at the Wellington Harbour Mouth. What a gorgeous country.

So long, New Zealand. See you soon.

Tane's Reviews: Catching Up on a hectic few weeks

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Has the same strengths and weaknesses as the other Harry Potter movies. The writers and director have done an admirable job of trimming the bloat that made this the worst Harry Potter book, but it is still too full of plot. There is still too much skimming over events.
On the plus side, the cast of quality British supporting actors grows ever larger, with Imelda Staunton excellent as the series’ best villain: the pink-clad, kitten-loving and vicious Dolores Umbridge. The special effects are top draw, with the climatic duels perhaps the best action in the increasingly dark series.

7/10

The Lives of Others

Set in East Germany in 1984, this is a riveting, slow-burning portrayal of an East German playwright and his partner under surveillance from the secret police. The acting is magnificent, particularly the man playing the head of the investigation. Grey haired, wearing grey clothes, working in grey offices, he is a man without a life of his own, and becomes absorbed in the lives of those he is watching. Nearly as great as Pan’s Labyrinth, which it upset for Best Foreign Film Oscar.

8.5/10

Blades of Glory

Hilarious mockery of figure skating, starring Will Ferrell and John Heder from Napoleon Dynamite as rivals turned partners. Some very cool figure skating scenes too, and a romance that – unusually for these sort of films – works. A cut above the usual Ferrell-Stiller-Owen comedy.

8/10

Transformers

A nostalgia trip for we children of the 1980s and, if you disconnect your brain, a lot of fun. As you’d expect from Michael Bay (Pearl Harbour, Armageddon, The Rock) it’s all about machines that make things go bang and things going bang. Except for the likeable hero, the human characters are pretty forgettable, but the CGI alien robots aren’t. Some of the action scenes are too blurry and quickly edited to work out what is happening, but otherwise they are amazing.

7/10

Shrek 3

Mediocre. A handful of funny bits, and well animated, but it’s time to leave Shrek in that swamp for good.

6/10

End Times - Sopranos spoilers warning!

One of the nice things about being back home (along with a five degree increase in temperature) has been getting the chance to finish off two series that have consumed many hours of my life – Harry Potter (see Lauren’s entry below) and The Sopranos.

I’ve loved The Sopranos since I started watching it back in series two. The complex, morally ambiguous characters, the excellent photography, the clever, topical dialogue, black humour and twisting plots - it’s the greatest drama series ever.

I've stuck my thoughts on the last season, particularly the last episode, in a comment. So, if you don't mind spoilers, click away.

Sempre Coca-cola

As I travel, I have decided to rate the diet coke of the world on a scale from one to ten. So far, the Coke Zero produced in NZ is the only ten out of ten, and the marker of what I consider to be perfection. And no, coke is not the same all over the world, for some reason that I do not know and can only imagine has something to do with the water in each place. I found coke in Italy to be much the same as in New Zealand, and the coke in Australia to be similar also. Diet coke in the USA, however, tasted like syrup. The stuff in Tonga was the worst, it tasted like it had been made in a pair of old tramping boots that had just been worn on a lengthy tramp. Without socks. Even the labels are different. Once when I was 18 and on the boat to Capri, a man caught me gawking at the weird label on his coke, and that label began a conversation that resulted in me learning that the man and his three companions were all Auschwitz survivors and the label was from Israeli coke. After talking to me at length about their experiences, the man gave me the label which I still have somewhere as a red and white reminder of that incredibly moving conversation.

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So, watch this space and your knowledge of fizzy drink will be greatly enriched! And yes, I am still going to be drinking my fair share of local drinks just in case you are on the verge of a rant against globalisation and multi-nationals.

E noho ra, Te Whanganui a Tara

After months of saving, planning and talking endlessly about the places we want to see, Tane and I are finally leaving NZ for the Northern Hemisphere in two more sleeps.

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This morning I flew out of Wellington to Auckland, after saying goodbye to my fabulous friends, the place of work I've largely enjoyed being at for the past four years, and my family. It was a mistake wearing eye makeup for the trip, as by the time the seat belt sign went 'ping' it had smudged all they way to my chin and I looked like a panda wearing war paint. Lucky I am technically a backpacker now, so having black marks on my face might have given me backpacker cred. :) I'm excited about going overseas, but will miss Wellington, the city that is very much my home.

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E noho ra, Te Whanganui a Tara! See ya, Wellington.

8 things I've learnt while travelling

As Tane and I prepare to embark on our trip, I have been giving some thought to how much you can learn while travelling, and lessons I have learnt on previous trips. The ones that spring most instantly to mind are:

1. Do not read underneath coconut trees

When I was in Tonga, I spent much of my time there reading underneath coconut trees. While under the trees, I felt like my holiday was everything a Pacific Island holiday ought to be ... until a coconut fell from the tree I was reading underneath. Lucky for me it landed about half a metre away, but the thud the coconut made when it hit the ground was sufficient for me to quickly realise how bad it could have been if my head had broken its fall.

2. Be careful to use the correct words when speaking a foreign language

While living in Italy I muddled the words for "happy" and "easy". I only realised my mistake after meaning to announce that I was happy to some Italians and all of a sudden a lot of the young guys wanted to be my friend (or so I thought).

3. Don't use a swearword unless you understand the severity of them

Swearwords in other languages can sound like gibberish, and lack the recoil factor bad words in your own language have. I will never forget the look on my history teacher's face in Italy when I used a word that I thought was the Italian equivalent of "damn".

4. Getting lost can be fun

Even if it leads to extreme stress and frustration, you can find the coolest things that no Lonely Planet will ever write about.

5. Don't assume that you speak the same language as other English speakers

I got yelled at once while waitressing in the USA for not fetching someone a "slide", and when I looked confused the yeller screeched (all the while resembling an over-ripe tomato) "Don't you SPEAK English? A SLIDE!" I had no idea that she was talking about saucers.

6. Be prepared to stand out

You don't have to stray far from the tourist track to be as strange to the locals as a three-headed martian. Even in Tonga where I thought plenty of Kiwis went I got followed down the street by a little boy yelling "hello, palangi!"

7. Never, ever, mime "straw"

Trust me on this one. I am lucky I wasn't arrested.

8. Don't pretend you know more Maori than you do

Maybe I am the Grinch who stole national identity, but I get frustrated when NZers who know very little Maori "teach" poor unsuspecting foreigners, or misusing and misspelling Maori words while showing off. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great to spread the use of Te Reo. But, before doing so, it’s important to ensure you get the meaning of the words correct. For example, Kia Ora means more than “hello”. I also get frustrated with Kiwis pretending while travelling that singing waiata is part of our way of life when all they know is "Te Aroha" and the main verse of "Pokarekare ana”. It's great to speak Maori and sing waiata while travelling, just be careful not to put Maoritanga on like a pounamu that gets worn while overseas but discarded into the bottom of a drawer as soon as you get home.

Anyone else got any good tips to add?

Harry Potter - Don't worry, no spoilers here!

After little sleep and much anti-social behaviour, I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows yesterday lunchtime. Now, I don't want to spoil the book for those of you who haven't read it, or bore those of you who don't care and want to put nails through your eyelids at the very mention of "Harry Potter". So, I'm going to review it in "comments". Also, I am going to write the review on the assumption that you have read it, so there will be spoilers galore. You have been warned!

Max the intrepid traveller

Tane and I are moving out of our flat and into Dad's tomorrow. We are also sending off a box of stuff to Ye Olde England, on account of not wanting to carry work type clothes in our backpacks while we are navigating the traffic in Hanoi or trying to remember that in Bulgaria nodding your head means no and shaking it means yes. Max my cat has made it very clear that he wants to join my suits and get shipped also.

Max is a very intrepid traveller for a cat and has been on half a dozen plane trips in his life. Once, he even went to Auckland for half a day by accident due to a mix-up by Air NZ. I will have to break it to him soon though that he will not be joining us but going to West Auckland for a few years, so it will be about bogan t-shirts rather than Kathmandu zip-offs.

And now I have had two separate blog entries about my cat, does that make me only a tiny step away from the crazy cat lady on The Simpsons?

Yet another photo of Mt Taranaki

I spent last weekend in a small town that was, just last week, the victim of a tornado. No, it wasn't in Kansas as one would expect, but in Oakura, a short drive south of New Plymouth. Oakura was previously famous for being the victim of Tom Cruise's colossal ego during the filming of The Last Samurai back in 2003. Tom Cruise's ego, though, didn't plough through an entire row of houses and cause tarpaulin sales to sky rocket. It also seems that everyone in Oakura now has an exciting story about how they escaped flying shards of glass to match their stories about seeing Cruise buying fish'n'chips. Last weekend, though, the weather was so stunning it is hard to believe that a tornado had been through Taranaki ever, let alone the previous week.

I left Tane at home with Season Five of Angel and went up to Taranaki with Dad and Erin to go to hui, visit the marae, and eat sushi on the waterfront. It was a fabulous and refreshing trip, and now I have been back four days my blood sugar levels have finally recovered from the number of lollies eaten during the trip home. Tane has yet to recover from lack of sleep caused by his Angel watching marathon.

And what blog entry about a visit to Taranaki would be complete without a photo of the stunning Mt Taranaki? Despite what they tried to tell me in The Last Samurai, I don't think it looks like Mt Fuji at all. There are far too many cows in the paddocks.

It's all about Harry

Like a ba-jillion other people world wide, I am eagerly awaiting the final Harry Potter book. I cannot wait to find out how it all ends, and hope that J.K Rowling ignores all the stupid 'Save Harry' and 'Keep Writing the Books' petitions and winds the series off in a way that maintains its literary integrity.

There are a few things I'd love to see happen in the last book, like something cool to do with Neville Longbottom and something horrendous to do with the Dursleys. I also wonder if Harry's scar is a horcrux, and how the final battle with Voldemort will play out. I wonder, is Snape good or bad? And the most burning question of all - will Ron and Hermione finally get it on?

Guess I just have to wait and see, and ensure that I live in a bubble for the time it takes to read it to not find out about what happens before I manage to read it myself.

My favourite of the books: Half Blood Prince and the Goblet of Fire
Least favourite of the books: Chamber of Secrets and the Order of the Phoenix
Character I would least like to see die: Ron.
Characters I most like: Fred and George, Neville and McGonagall
Characters I least like: Cho Chang and Draco Malfoy.

What about you? Looking forward to the final book, or you really don't care? Do you think HP is fabulous, or over-rated?

A very typical Wellington night out

As those of you that have moved overseas will know, about three weeks out from D-Day you start doing a series of lasts. Last time you’ll see so-and-so. Last bus ride somewhere. Last Crunchie bar being guzzled in the depature loungue in Auckland. Fitting in with this theme, last Friday night was the last time in a while that the four Keenan girls would go out in Wellington. Joined by some other friends, we had a very fun and Wellington-esque night out. There was Indian food. There was the Big Kumara. There was dancing. And of course, there was karaoke.

There were also sightings of the Blanket Man, and subsequent asking each other “Doesn’t he get cold?” The bucket fountains also got a visit.

We also hung out with the plastic tuatara on Cuba Mall. Is it just me, or does he look incredibly smug?
Last of all, there were kebabs. It wouldn’t have been a proper Wellington night out if it had ended any other way, I suppose.

How well travelled are you?

Along with what counts as an OE, (see Lauren's entry below), a topic we often discuss in what counts as 'well travelled'. It’s a pointless and completely arbitary discussion – after all, being well travelled in a Nigerian village probably means having gone to the capital – but it is an interesting one.

So, what do you consider well travelled to be?

Is it the number of countries you’ve been to? The time you’ve spent there? The differences in wealth and culture from home? How you travelled – package tour vs backpacking?

Lauren's come up with a simple formula:

Has been to at least three countries in each of at least three continents.

I’m much more of a geek than she is, so I’ve developed something a lot more complex. It’s the second-most maths I’ve done since I was 15 (the first was the test for getting into journalism school, which made my brain hurt), so I’m very proud.

It’s a points-based system that gives you more points for the poorer the country you have been to, whether you went on a tour or backpacked, and the length of time you spent there. This reflects my feeling that experiencing places that are different from your own home reflects how well travelled you are. The more different your experience, the more well travelled you are. For example, going from tour bus to ruin to tour bus to hotel doesn’t get you as close to a different country as backpacking through the countryside.

Let me know if you think it’s fair or unfair, and if you like, send in your score.


Here’s the formula:

First world country or tourist resort (US, Canada, Australia, NZ, Japan, South Korea, Singapore, Hong Kong, European Union, Norway, Switzerland, Tahiti, Bali, Phuket, Barbados, etc): 1 point
Second world (Russia, non-EU Eastern Europe, Brazil, South Africa, Morocco, Tunisia, Egypt, China, Thailand, Vietnam, Brunei, India, Iran, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, all of Arabia except for Yemen, the Pacific Islands – bar the Solomons and Papua New Guinea, the Carribean – excluding resort islands and Haiti, South America except for Bolivia,): 2 points
Third World (the rest of Asia and Africa, the Solomon Islands, Papua New Guinea, Haiti, Bolivia): 3 points

Note: ‘Colonies’ such as Wales, Greenland, Hawai'i and French Polynesia count as separate countries.

Airport stopovers or a few hours in the Vatican checking out St Peter's don’t count.

Points for a country are doubled if you have spent at least a month there.

Points for a country are tripled if you have spent at least five months there.

Points for a country are quadrupled if you have spent more than five months there, and the native language is not your own.

If you have been to a second or third world country for four days or less, or went there on a tour, you only get one point.

If you want to make things even more complex, if you spent a significant amount of time in a region that was seriously poorer than the country ranking would indicate, alter your score for that country. For example, I’m told southern Italy is more Second World than First, and rural India is more Third World than Second.


Here’s my tally:

US (three weeks – 1 point), Canada (a month – 2 points), Germany (three weeks - 1), France (bit less than a month - 1), Netherlands (three days - 1), Belgium (two days - 1), Italy (a week - 1), Japan (a week - 1), Cambodia (two weeks - 3), Thailand (two days - 1)

Total: 13 points

Now, I think that for an affluent young Westerner, I’ve done a reasonable amount of travel. But I don’t consider myself well travelled yet. So my summary of being well travelled is:

Has been to countries worth at least 18 points.

I’d further qualify that by saying you have to have been to at least three continents and spent at least two weeks in two Second or Third World countries.