I am officially a child of the 21st century! I have four parents, and flat with my gay ex-boyfriend and his boyfriend. And, just to make being a child of the 21st century official, Tane and I have decided to be the 841st couple in NZ to get a Civil Union and will do so in three weeks time. The ceremony itself will be a small affair, but we’ll be having a party to celebrate that night (Friday 13 April) at our flat if you are able to make it. It's not in lieu of a wedding - we'll do that with all the bells and whistles when we get home from the big OE in a couple of years time. It would be great if you could make it, but if not that's fine too - I know that plenty of you live far far away. We promise you'll get more than three weeks notice when the real thing rolls around.
Since deciding to get a civil union, I have been asked questions like you wouldn’t believe, so have added a Frequently Asked Questions section to my write up of this on my blog:
8 most Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ's)*
1. How is it different than getting married?
Legally, it’s not. I could go around calling myself Mrs Aikman if I wanted. BUT, we are able to change our Civil Union to a marriage later, so will do that. Apparently, the only difference is that we are not legally recognised in most of the world. So if I have to tell creepy men in the Middle East that no they cannot buy me for a camel they probably would not understand why.
2. Why don't you just get married?
Because we would much rather spend our money on travel than a wedding, and don't really see the hurry anyway when we have this great interim solution at our fingertips ...
3. Are you going to change your name?
If I am, I won't till I get married later. Dunno. I am sure that every girl wonders about this, and I am always really interested in which of my girlfriends change their names and which don't. Apparently 1 in 5 NZ women keep there maiden surnames. Any thoughts on this? Am curious to hear opinions on this debate.
4. Is it true doing this caused you to lose a bet?
Yes it did. I gave Geremy his 5 chocolate fish yesterday, and was told they tasted like victory.
5. You do realise that you are getting civil unioned on Friday the 13th?
Yes I do. Imagine me looking at you with a blank expression. That is my caring face. (I am not superstitious, and we planned it for three Fridays from now without really looking at the date)
6. Are you engaged?
I realise our situation doesn't fit nicely into conventional boxes of "boyfriend/girlfriend" then "engaged" then "married". We are engaged to get a civil union, and intend to get married later. Although, in three weeks time we have technically overtaken the "engaged" stage I guess. And I also realise that I have given a typical bureaucratic answer that doesn't leave you any the wiser. Tee hee.
7. Will you have a bridal party?
No, we are just going to have significant witnesses. Stephen has agreed to be mine, although has not agreed to wear a dress.
8. What does Max think of it all?
As long as he still gets fed, Max appears unconcerned. He sleeps soundly.