I am officially a child of the 21st century! I have four parents, and flat with my gay ex-boyfriend and his boyfriend. And, just to make being a child of the 21st century official, Tane and I have decided to be the 841st couple in NZ to get a Civil Union and will do so in three weeks time. The ceremony itself will be a small affair, but we’ll be having a party to celebrate that night (Friday 13 April) at our flat if you are able to make it. It's not in lieu of a wedding - we'll do that with all the bells and whistles when we get home from the big OE in a couple of years time. It would be great if you could make it, but if not that's fine too - I know that plenty of you live far far away. We promise you'll get more than three weeks notice when the real thing rolls around.
Since deciding to get a civil union, I have been asked questions like you wouldn’t believe, so have added a Frequently Asked Questions section to my write up of this on my blog:
8 most Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ's)*
1. How is it different than getting married?
Legally, it’s not. I could go around calling myself Mrs Aikman if I wanted. BUT, we are able to change our Civil Union to a marriage later, so will do that. Apparently, the only difference is that we are not legally recognised in most of the world. So if I have to tell creepy men in the Middle East that no they cannot buy me for a camel they probably would not understand why.
2. Why don't you just get married?
Because we would much rather spend our money on travel than a wedding, and don't really see the hurry anyway when we have this great interim solution at our fingertips ...
3. Are you going to change your name?
If I am, I won't till I get married later. Dunno. I am sure that every girl wonders about this, and I am always really interested in which of my girlfriends change their names and which don't. Apparently 1 in 5 NZ women keep there maiden surnames. Any thoughts on this? Am curious to hear opinions on this debate.
4. Is it true doing this caused you to lose a bet?
Yes it did. I gave Geremy his 5 chocolate fish yesterday, and was told they tasted like victory.
5. You do realise that you are getting civil unioned on Friday the 13th?
Yes I do. Imagine me looking at you with a blank expression. That is my caring face. (I am not superstitious, and we planned it for three Fridays from now without really looking at the date)
6. Are you engaged?
I realise our situation doesn't fit nicely into conventional boxes of "boyfriend/girlfriend" then "engaged" then "married". We are engaged to get a civil union, and intend to get married later. Although, in three weeks time we have technically overtaken the "engaged" stage I guess. And I also realise that I have given a typical bureaucratic answer that doesn't leave you any the wiser. Tee hee.
7. Will you have a bridal party?
No, we are just going to have significant witnesses. Stephen has agreed to be mine, although has not agreed to wear a dress.
8. What does Max think of it all?
As long as he still gets fed, Max appears unconcerned. He sleeps soundly.
4 comments:
Congratulations! Good FAQ section. I am not going to change my name when I get married. In fact, I am not even keen on being Mrs. Well, to be perfectly honest, I am not entirely sold on the whole marriage thing to begin with. We'll see, I guess. Even thinking about wedding planning makes me want to run for the hills. When my family's in England, his is in NZ, and our friends are scattered around the four corners of the globe; what can you do?
Next question - Changing names: Have you considered a hyphenated name? Has Tane? If so, whose name would come first? Maybe he could just take your name? now that would be 21st century...
Likewise congratulations.
We talked with Justen and Marie about surname options when we were over there. She wasn't sold on taking his name, and was considering alternatives like hyphenation or actually merging their names.
(This would lead to Oullstad or Rokette, both... interesting, although the latter sounds more like a Manhattan dance troupe.)
Do come see us when you're up!
CONGRATULATIONS beautiful Lauren and Tane! I am so excited for you. The best thing about getting married for me was that all these people I love turned up to have a big party. I like the sound of Mr Tane Keenan, personally... Keenan-Aikman or Aikman-Keenan sounds a little rhymey for my tastes. :)
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