Obsessing Over Oscars

It’s that time of year, the time movie fans either love or loathe. Yes, Oscar walks among us again.

Often at this time I indulge in a bit of navel gazing about why I am so interested in the Oscars. The ceremony itself is usually bloated, smug and features a horribly teary acceptance speech by the best actress, and I seldom agree with their choice of best picture. Crash beating Brokeback Mountain still makes me grind my teeth.

To be fair to the Academy, they have been getting more diverse and less mainstream with their choices of films in recent years. This year the nominees are the most multicultural ever.

Fundamentally though, why should movie fans give a damn what Hollywood thinks the best in the last year of cinema was? You already know what you like and what you don’t.

I guess it comes down to the fact that, as a lover of movies, it’s nice to see them celebrated. It’s also a great excuse to go see a lot of good films, and yell at the tv when your favourites miss out.

Below are my pics for the likely Oscar winners, and who I’d pick in the various categories. Bear in mind that as usual I’ve not seen some of the heavyweight contenders, such as ‘Notes from a Scandal’ and ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’.

The nominees are here:

http://www.imdb.com/features/rto/2007/oscars

By all means let us know what were your favourites!

Best Picture

Likely winner: Man, this is really hard to pick this year. All the contenders have won earlier awards, none of them is really dominating things, and they're all excellent. I’ll pick the feel-good factor of Little Miss Sunshine.

Tane’s top five:

Babel
Little Miss Sunshine
Letters From Iwo Jima
United 93
The Departed

Honourable mentions:

The Queen
Out of the Blue
Children of Men
Russian Dolls
Candy
The Squid and the Whale
Superman Returns
Flags of Our Fathers
Happy Feet

Lauren’s top five:

United 93
The Departed
Little Miss Sunshine
Babel
The Prestige

Honourable mentions:

Letters From Iwo Jima
The Queen
Superman Returns
Russian Dolls
Out of the Blue
The Devil Wears Prada
Candy
The Squid and the Whale

Best Director

Likely winner:
Surely, surely, Martin Scorsese will get his long overdue Oscar this year. Even if The Departed doesn’t get Best Picture, the momentum is there for him to get one of those unofficial lifetime achievement awards the sentimental folks in Academy bestow from time to time.

Tane’s best director: Paul Greengrass, United 93. With no major performances to drive it, if any movie’s success can be put down to a director’s skills, it was this one.


Best Actor:

Likely Winner: Forest Whitaker, who played Ugandan dictator Idi Amin in The Last King of Scotland, has swept all awards before him.

Tane’s best actors: Whitaker. My nominees would also include Matt Damon from The Departed, Leonardo Di Caprio and Djimon Honsou for Blood Diamond, and Heath Ledger in Candy. Honourable mentions to Sacha Baron Cohen from Borat, Daniel Craig from Casino Royale, Ken Watanabe and Kazunari Ninomiya from Letters From Iwo Jima and Mathew Sunderland from Out of the Blue.


Best Actress

Likely Winner: Helen Mirren, Her Majesty in The Queen, has been as dominant as Whitaker.

Tane’s best actress: Mirren. I’ve not seen any of the other nominees though. Abby Cornish in Candy and Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls were also outstanding, and Sarala from Water delivered perhaps the child actor performance of the year.

Best Supporting Actor

Likely Winner: Eddie Murphy, as troubled soul star Jimmy Early in Dreamgirls.

Tane’s pick: The supporting actor/actress nominations often bug me, as so often someone gets nominated (Jennifer Connelly in A Beautiful Mind comes to mind) who is clearly a lead, simply because the studio thinks they’re more likely to win in that category. Djimon Honsou comes into that category this year.
My pick would be Murphy. My other nominees would be Alan Arkin and Steve Carell from Little Miss Sunshine, Michael Caine in Children of Men, and Adam Beach in Flags of Our Fathers.

Best Supporting Actress

Likely Winner: Jennifer Hudson from Dreamgirls, though she’s clearly the film’s lead actress.

Tane’s pick: Rinko Kikuchi from Babel. Other nominees: Adriana Barazza, also from Babel, Abigail Breslin in Little Miss Sunshine, and Seema Biswas and Kulbhushan Kharbanda from Water.

Best Original Screenplay

Likely Winner: This could be an early indicator of the winning film – I’ll go with Little Miss Sunshine

Tane’s pick: Babel. Nominees: The Queen, Little Miss Sunshine, Russian Dolls and Out of the Blue.

Best Adapted Screenplay

Likely Winner: It’s a bizarre nomination, as it was a largely improvised film, but I think Borat might take this.

Tane’s pick: The Departed. Nominees: The Prestige, Candy, Children of Men, Letters From Iwo Jima.

Best Cinematography

Likely Winner: Children of Men

Tane’s pick: Apocalypto

Best Art Direction

Likely Winner: Dreamgirls

Tane’s pick: Dreamgirls

Editing

Likely Winner: Cripes, editing’s such a fundamental part of a film I always find it hard to judge it. I’ll take a stab and go the Academy liking the interwoven stories of Babel.

Tane’s pick: United 93

Costumes

Likely Winner: Dreamgirls

Tane’s pick: Apocalypto

Score

Likely Winner: ?

Tane’s pick: Apocalypto

Song

Likely Winner: I Love You I Do, from Dreamgirls

Tane’s pick: Patience, from Dreamgirls

Makeup

Likely Winner: Apocalypto

Tane’s pick: Apocalypto

Visual Effects

Likely Winner: Superman Returns

Tane’s pick: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest

Sound

Likely Winner: Flags of Our Fathers

Tane’s pick: Flags of Our Fathers

Animated Film, Documentary, Foreign Film

Off all the films that would fit into these categories, I've have only seen Happy Feet, An Inconvenient Truth and Water, so I can’t really comment. Cars is tipped to win animated, An Inconvenient Truth is sure to get documentary and Pan’s Labyrinth was thought to be close to landing a regular Best Picture nomination, so it’ll win Foreign Film.

Sound Editing

Too technical for me!

Party pics! (Lauren)

Last night, a number of us went out for dinner to have a few drinks to celebrate the my birthday, as well as Sarah's and Jay's. As for the actual details of the evening, what goes on tour stays on tour, right? (Naturally, I was dignified and a model citizen the entire night) But, for those of you that couldn't make it, here are some photos of what was a largely fun evening. And the bits that were less fun, were certainly memorable.

Best gig of '07 - so far at least (Lauren)

Last night we went to see Goldenhorse play at Bodega. Bodega is a great venue - just the right amount of space, good beer, and plenty of amusing graffiti in the bathroom. Class. I'm certain that there is a linguistics or sociology doctorate just waiting to be written about bathroom graffiti, if it hasn't been already. Bathroom graffiti also makes me wonder - who actually carries vivid pens around with them in order to scrawl that Kenny has the hottest abs in Wellington? But I digress ...

It was a great gig, especially as I hadn't seen any live music for way too long. There weren't too many people there so lots of dancing space, and Goldenhorse themselves performed really well. Less polished that the last time I saw them in 2005, but much more relaxed and fun. Kirsten Morrell (the lead singer) wore an especially funky red dress, and one of the funnier parts of the evening was watching a line-up of guys drooling up at her from the front row. Including a certain gay man who shall remain nameless.

Today has been a fabulous Sunday - some lying in the sun action, some going to the beach action (Titahi Bay beach today - I won't even start about the graffiti there), and some eating nice food action. Tane also got a lot of watching the cricket action too, and apparently it was a very exciting game. Either that, or he was randomly yelping about something else while we were driving around in the car this afternoon...

Ngaire left another year at Med School at Otago today, although not before this photo could be taken of me and my three blisters:

Ahhh. Weekends. Lauren happy.

The Best River Ever (and poker) (Lauren)

Last Sunday, Tane and I went to the Best River Ever. It was so splendid, it deserves capital letters. The river was somewhere near Otaki, on the nice bush side rather than the bad-ass-homie side. I had never even heard of the place before Geremy from work told me about it, and doubt we would have found it on our own had Geremy and his fiancée Sarah hadn’t driven us there.

The river was perfect – swift bits, calm bits, deep bits and bits so shallow you couldn’t move in without going “ow ow ow ow”. The best part? Rocks for jumping off! I have a fantastic sequence of photos of Tane jumping off that are too good not to share, especially one of him mid-air with a look on his face that is a funny mix of terror, exhilaration and pure surprise that the water below is getting closer at an alarming rate. Unfortunately I don’t have them now, but watch this space!

In other news, I have discovered the joys of poker! Earlier in the week my three sisters and I played a game with our boyfriends that lasted for hours. It was a great night, although I sadly lost the $5 I paid to play. Evan won in the end, despite attempts by Ngaire to throw him off course by playing Britney Spears. At least Erin came second, or else it might have been embarrassing that the other three Keenan girls were eliminated well before their boyfriends were, me included. I clearly have a long way to go until I can go to Montenegro and beat wealthy baddies a la' James Bond. Pity.

Staying in a trailer park and other cool stuff (Lauren)

A couple of nights ago, Tane woke me up by jumping up and down and slapping his belt against the wall. It took me a little while to translate his angry muttering and realise that "rassin frassin SLAP moshrassin frassin bloody SLAP rassin frassin" was Tane-speak for "I am currently attempting to commit mosquito-cide as the noise of it buzzing is irritating me". I would have been perplexed by the whole deal had the belt incident not been concrete evidence that HURRAH! SUMMER IS HERE!

This weekend, Tane and I enjoyed some of the summer in the Manawatu and Wairarapa. It was grand - the sun was shining, the cows were mooing, and there were even more windmills along the ranges than last time I was in the Manawatu. I assume that they breed while I am away.

Our impetus for going to that part of the country was Mae and Jake's wedding, held at a lifestyle block near Feilding that belonged to Jake's folks. The wedding was fabulous - Mae looked stunning, and we had a blast.

Me, Bonnie, Mae, Ginny and Sarah

The highlights? Seeing how happy the bride and groom were, the most porn-star "you may now kiss the bride" kiss that I have ever seen, hilarious conversations about llamas, and plates at the reception that you could eat. Apparently they were made of potatoes. Mmmm. Plate. Another highlight was seeing Tane and Ashley prance around the lawn with the flower girls' baskets. They had to have this photo taken afterward to reassert their masculinity.

Tane and Ashley

And it wouldn't have been a proper stay in Feilding had we not stayed in a trailer park surrounded by cows. As Tane said, it was a pity that we had left our banjo at home.

The way home from Feilding the next day was equally as cool. Tane and I jumped in the Rambler, and set off to find the town called Tane in the Wairarapa. Tane had visions of taking photos of himself posing in front of a "Welcome to Tane" sign I think. And fair enough too - if I discovered a town called Lauren, I'd be there with bells on. After a couple of hours of dirt roads and mucho windiness, Tane consulted the map only to discover that Tane had already driven through Tane. Sad.

Lucky we found Castlepoint instead. Castlepoint is a beach about an hour from Masterton. At first glance it is fairly mediocre - a bland beach, its only saving grace being an impressive lighthouse. Once you wander around the corner from the main beach, though, Castle Rock makes the trip worthwhile. My parents made me climb Castle Rock when I was about 15, and have only recently been forgiven. Tane and I didn't have the energy to attempt Castle Rock yesterday, but did scale some rock faces and found ourselves swimming in the path of an arrogant, fast, and dangerous fishing boat. The climb up to the lighthouse was pretty refreshing as well, as was enjoying the sun perched on some rocks that appeared to be made of long-dead crabs.

We got back into Wellington quite late last night, and am still feeling a little drained - hence the warbled entry. Lucky that tomorrow is Waitangi Day and the forecast is good. Yay!

P.S. It is Wai-TANGI day, not Wai-TANGY day. Grrrr.

Swimming, Running, Biking and Beer (Lauren)

Yesterday, I completed a triathlon. Yay!

Although I've done triathlons before, yesterday's was by far the hardest. I admit that I may only think that it was the hardest because it was only yesterday and the pain is so very very fresh. The first one that Mum and I did together in Palmy in early '04 was hard work, as was the one we did in Wellington last year that had such bad weather the swim was cancelled. The one yesterday was especially challenging though as the bike was hillier than usual, and the run longer. I signed up a few months ago, assuming that I would kill my lazy demons and train really really hard. Unfortunately, my "training" generally consisted of carrying around my gym bag but rarely actually using it.

Me, almost finished ...

During the swim, it occurred to me that I was doing a better impression of the Kursk than a dolphin. During the hilly bike ride, I cursed the hills with all my might. And during the run, I wondered if anyone would notice me having a sleep in the grass. It was all worth it though when I ran, exhausted, under the "finish" sign.

Yay!

I did the triathlon with Louise after convincing her that they were great. Tane and Richard (Louise's boyfriend) enjoyed themselves as well, especially once they discovered the on site bar. They did a great job of both supporting us and fitting in going the bar while we were out biking. I suspect that they took this photo to taunt us.

The supportive boyfriends, supporting us ... and the bar

Today it feels like someone has replaced my legs with planks of wood. My mid-section is so sore I wonder if someone came and jumped on my stomach in the middle of the night. There is something extremely exhilarating though about pushing your limits, and competing in an event designed to empower women. I am already looking forward to next time. And Mum, I intend to nag you until you sign up for the next one with me!

Tane's Reviews: Blood Diamond

Blood Diamond

You may or may not remember the crisis in Sierra Leone in the late 1990s. It was one of that endless stream of African horror stories, a little after Rwanda and Somalia, a little before Darfur.
There were a few particularly ghastly things about Sierra Leone. The rebels had the habit of abducting children, brainwashing them, feeding them drugs and giving them guns. They were also fans of chopping off limbs.
Still, as a jaded journalist in this movie says, “Same old story. Government bad, rebels worse. Nobody gives a fu*k.”
Which pretty much summed up the attitude of most people in the West – except the politicians, the activists - and gem merchants. For Sierra Leone has diamonds. A lot of diamonds.
Blood Diamond is the story of the civil war in Sierra Leone and how one particular stone affects the lives of a local fisherman (Djimon Honsou) desperate to find his family, an American war journalist (Jennifer Connelly), a Zimbabwean smuggler (Leonardo DiCaprio) and a large number of ruthless men.
If Blood Diamond really were a gem, it would be a valuable but flawed one. It is well shot on gorgeous locations and tells a powerful story. But it is too earnest and, at times, over-the-top. It could have made its points better if it told it with more subtlety and restraint.
But there’s much more that’s good in it than bad. Honsou has a deep, humble nobility in him – if anyone’s read Aphra Behn’s ‘Orinookoo’, he’d be the perfect person to play the prince. While DiCaprio gives an even better performance than he did in The Departed. As the uncaring anti-hero he is both appealing and appalling. And, like Honsou, he delivers one great speech. It is these that probably clinched them their Oscar nominations. My only criticism of DiCaprio is that his accent seems a bit forced, but my South African-born friend Sarah (whose comment follows this review) tells me he did it well.
To sum Blood Diamond up, it is a somewhat overwrought but also very moving film. A lesser jewel, but well worth seeing.

710

Wellington Anniversary Weekend Pics (Lauren)

I love Wellington Anniversary weekend. It is a three day weekend right when you are getting sick of work again after the Christmas break, and as it's not nationwide I usually forget about it until a little bit beforehand so it comes as nice surprise. I like it so much, I don't even care that I have no idea whatsoever what the anniversary is actually supposed to be of.

This Anniversary weekend, Tane and I did the Eastern Walkway. The walkway took a couple of hours, and goes along the hills overlooking the Wellington Harbour. It was great - fantastic views of the Harbour, seeing lots of sunbathing skinks, and walking a windy hilly path called "Branda's Pass" that Tane thought should belong in the Lord of the Rings. I think he was even a little disapointed that we did not get ambushed by bandits, as he thought the name would suggest.

The highlight of the day, though, was the Ataturk Memorial at the beginning of the walk.

The Ataturk Memorial is a pretty impressive memorial commermorating Ataturk, the founder of modern Turkey. At the memorial you can find lots of quotes about how highly Ataturk thought of the ANZAC troops at Gallipoli. Also, a plaque that reads:

"Beneath this star is placed a container of soil from Anzac cove, Gallipoli, Turkey"

Before going to the memorial, I had no idea that you could visit Turkish soil without leaving Wellington. The wind was a constant reminder however that we were not, alas, in Turkey. Not that I have been to Turkey (yet), but am sure that the wind doesn't blow so hard I feel like my hair is going to poke out my eyes.

Tane and the South Coast on a typical sneaky Wellington day. It looks great, but that's because you can't see the wind!

Something else that deserves a mention from this weekend was James Moir's 30th. The theme was the ghetto, and his backyard was transformed into da hood with a beat up old cop car (1970s style), a retro dance floor, and a wall for spray painting.

Tane, dressed as a ghetto pimp,tests out his tagging skills.

I learnt at that party, however, that I will never have a career as a ghetto ho. The spray painting was much too hard, and my "Lauren Was Here" looked more like a paintball had hit than actual words. If it wasn't for being able to wear my 80s jacket, it would have been a sad day indeed.

The moment I realised I would never be a ghetto ho. That jacket, though, even makes Tane look like he has an hourglass figure.

Me with James. I know it's not a good photo, but it seemed wrong not to publish a pic of James in his gold sweat suit.

Other highlights of the weekend were board games with Sarah and Grisham, sleeping in three days in a row, shopping with Philippa and Erin at Queensgate Mall, and bonding with my cat Max. Isn't he cute?

Max after Stephen had a play with photoshop.

Oh, and my other highlight: writing my blog while procrastinating from doing both housework and my Teaching English course. Sigh.

Tane's Reviews: Dreamgirls

I’ll come clean right at the start. I don’t like ‘serious’ musicals.
Not that I have a problems with all musicals – I’m a fan of both Chicago and the South Park movie – but there’s a certain ridiculousness that such a movie needs to work. Because if you’re not silly to begin with, when characters start communicating through song, you’re certainly going to get silly pretty fast.
So, as Dreamgirls is a serious film, when the characters start singing their lines, I have to suppress a shudder.
Of course, plenty of people love this and if you’re one of them you will enjoy Dreamgirls more than me.
And it’s not as if I didn’t like it a lot. This is one of the movies (with The Departed, The Queen, Little Miss Sunshine, The Sands of Iwo Jima, United 93 and Babel) leading the pack in the various award ceremonies, and it’s easy to see why.
Dreamgirls is the screen version of a musical loosely based on the career of famous American girl group The Supremes.
The film opens with three young black women with a stack of talent and a stack of naivety trying to get a break into the big time. They are the Dreamettes: giggly Lorrell and beautiful Deena (Beyonce Knowles, in a clever piece of casting) and the star turn - Effie (Jennifer Hudson), the one with the big personality, big body and titanic voice. Dreamgirls traces the career of these women, which is heavily influenced by their ambitious manager Cecil Taylor (Jamie Foxx) and sleazy, charismatic soul singer Jimmy ‘Thunder’ Early (Eddie Murphy).
Dreamgirls does not always flow well, with some choppy shifts between scenes, and tilts into melodrama towards the end. But, that aside, it’s a well-made film. The editing and costumes are exceptional, as are the performances from Hudson and Murphy. Murphy crackles with energy and shows he can portray emotional complexity too, while Hudson (a failed American Idol finalist) is a revelation as the proud and passionate Effie. It helps that she has a voice that could make a waterfall stop to listen. Kudos too to Knowles, who shows she is more than just a lovely face and voice.
Best of all, Dreamgirls is packed from wall to wall with great music. After hearing it, it’s hard to suppress the urge to go out and buy the CD. The soundtrack, if not the movie itself, really is great.

7/10

Tane's Reviews: Happy Feet

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0366548/

If March of the Penguins has not already done it, Happy Feet would do for emperor penguins what Finding Nemo did for clownfish – make them stars of the animal world.
Singing, dancing stars at that.
It’s mating season in Antarctica and love is in the air. Their eyes meeting across a crowded ice floe, Norma Jean (Nicole Kidman in Marilyn Monroe mode) and Memphis (Hugh Jackman doing an Elvis impersonation) make beautiful music together – literally, as it’s how penguins court. Heartbreak Hotel meets You Don’t Have to be Rich.
If you can’t sing, you’re not much of a penguin. Problem is, when Norma Jean and Memphis have a chick, Mumble (Elijah Wood) what comes out of his throat is a throttled squawk. But boy, can he move his feet.
Tap dancing isn’t enough to cut it in Emperor Penguin land though, so Mumble wanders off to hang out with a smaller species of penguin and falls in with a group of Latino playboys called The Amigos, led by Raul (Robin Williams). Together the lads go and see Lovelace (Williams again), the overweight guru who holds the key to the mystery of why the fish supply is drying up.
I do love a good animated movie. They’re so much damn fun, and a delight to look at. The ending is a bit corny, Mumble is not the most compelling hero in the history of fiction and the female characters are push-overs, but Happy Feet is still great. The animation is another benchmark for this sort of film, with scenes such an avalanche, a chase involving a leopard seal and killer whales playing around at an abandoned whaling station particularly stunning.
Williams and the Amigos are hilarious, and the songs are will get you going too. I particularly liked a soaring version of Queen’s Somebody to Love performed by Brittany Murphy.
By the way, don’t be fooled into thinking this is all cutesy penguins and perky songs. There’s some intense scenes where Mumble flees the jaws of predators, and a quite disturbing scene towards the end.

8/10

Tane's Reviews: Apocalypto

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0472043/

Say what you like about Mel Gibson – and you might well say that he’s a fundamentalist bigot – but you can’t say that he doesn’t know how to create a world you can believe in.
As he did in Braveheart and The Passion of the Christ, in Apocalypto Gibson drowns you in the gorgeousness, grime and gore of the distant past. This time it’s the jungles and massive stone temples of the era of the Mayans, whose pre-European civilization dominated what is now the Yucatan Peninsula/Guatemala area in Central America.
Jaguar Paw (Rudy Youngblood) is a young husband and father in a hunter-gatherer tribe living in the jungle. It’s a good life – his wife is hot, his son is cute, dad is of the Wise Old Warrior school, there’s plenty of practical jokes going around, and the jungle is beautiful and full of food. Then one day a strange, bedraggled group of strangers passes through. They are fleeing something terrible.
Soon that terror arrives, in the form of Mayan raiders who rape, murder or enslave almost all the adults in the village.
The surviving tribesmen are hauled away by the fearsome Zero Wolf and his sadistic sidekick Snake Ink to a Mayan capital, a city festered with decadence and cruelty.
Apocalypto features a strong score and charismatic performances from Youngblood and the rest of the cast, but what is really extraordinary is how it looks. The cinematography is the best I’ve seen since House of Flying Daggers, with at least two simply jaw-dropping bits of camerawork during the last half-hour. Then there’s the fantastic piercings, tattoos, armour, weapons and jewelry. A helmet made from a jaguar skull. A chain of beads running from ear to ear through the nose. A knife with an obsidian blade and carved bone handle.
As Lauren said afterwards, this film is a feast for the senses.
However, it’s not a feast for the mind, despite Gibson’s effort to load it with meaning. He opens the film with a quote about how great civilisations decay from within before they are destroyed, but this is a load of old cobblers. Not all empires fall apart within before being overwhelmed from without and besides, as an accurate depiction of Mayan culture and history, Apocalypto makes Braveheart look like a historian’s doctoral thesis.
Elements of Mayan civilization that were separated by many centuries are meshed together, and their achievements in art, astronomy and mathematics are ignored in turning them into degenerate monsters. He also appears to have confused them with Aztecs, which is rather like confusing Greeks with Germans. Nor did hunter-gatherers like Jaguar Paw’s tribe lived near such Mayan cities.
But, aside from history geeks, who cares. Granted, Gibson should have made it clearer that this was closer to fiction than fact, but a movie is entertainment, not a documentary. Apocalypto will get a lot of people interested in the Mayans (it certainly had Lauren and I checking out Wikipedia) and is a thrilling action movie.
But, even given that it is something for adrenaline junkies, Apocalypto is excessively violent. As he showed in The Passion, Gibson has a disturbing taste for blood. He drenches Apocalypto in it. For me only two moments were truly in-your-face disgusting, but those with more sensitive tastes will find much more of it hard to watch. And, for all the inventiveness of the carnage, it gets a bit repetitive.
Still, despite its flaws this is an exciting film set in a vivid and fascinating world, with images that will linger for a long time. If you think you’ve got the stomach for it, do see it on the big screen.

7/10

Lauren's bite-sized movie blurbs.

As it is Oscar season (Hurrah! Yipee!), Tane and I have been going nuts with movie watching. We have seen five in the last 10 days, and I am starting to feel that Reading Cinemas in Wellington is my second home. I became aware of just how extreme our movie watching has been recently when I went to buy my pre- movie sorbet (my current food rut, or "frut") this evening and realised that I have eaten all of the flavours within the last week. Hmmmm.

Anyway, I wanted to write my very own movie blurb. I am sorry these aren't as long or as good as Tane's, but quite frankly, I am too lazy. I am too lazy even to think up an excuse to hide my laziness. So, here you go, my bite sized reviews:

The Prestige

I’m not going to say much about this film because I don’t want to spoil the plot in any way. But - I loved The Prestige because of its moral ambiguity, the twisty plot, and the fact that I have never seen a movie quite like it before. I saw it days ago and am still pestering Tane with my theories about why certain things happened. I haven’t had a movie get that much under my skin for a long time.

8/10

Happy Feet

Happy Feet was great. It had it all – singing, Robin Williams, great gags, and dancing penguins. Happy Feet is one of those movies that you will leave with a smile. Unless, of course, unless you are the Grinch who stole movie joy.

As the credits rolled, I noticed a little girl sitting along from me squirming in her seat. She was beaming, and soon got up to dance in the aisle. By the end of the credits, her and two other little kids were dancing up in front of the screen. I think that says it all about Happy Feet and how infectious it was.

8/10

Apocalypto

I know that some of you will want to instantly dismiss this movie as being both historically inaccurate and part of a great right-wing conspiracy lead by Mel Gibson. I, however, enjoyed this movie. It was a feast for the senses, with fantastic costumes, music (a very Braveheart-esque soundtrack by James Horner), and scenery. It was great to hear Mayan spoken throughout the movie, and after seeing Apocalypto I have started to fantasise about backpacking around the Mayan ruins in Central America. I have been reading about Mayan culture since seeing the movie, and while the movie was historically inaccurate it has made me more interested in a part of the world that I hadn’t given too much thought before.

My only criticism of Apocalypto was that it was way too violent. It was so violent at one point I seriously considered hiding under my coat. My sister Ngaire summed up the violence really well when we were discussing the Snifters (her movie "frut") that she had bought to eat during the movie. "You know" she said. "I really didn't eat as many Snifters during the movie as I usually do".

7/10

Casino Royale

I liked this movie, but didn’t love it. The portrayal of Bond intrigued me, and I loved the action scenes. I couldn’t shake the feeling though that I don’t have enough testosterone to see the full appeal of this film. Although, I did have enough oestrogen to fully appreciate the little blue shorts.

7/10

The Queen

This movie was really good, and I was impressed with how it managed to be simultaneously sympathetic to both the Queen and Tony Blair. Helen Mirren was spectacular as Queen Elizabeth, and if she does not get the Oscar for Best Actress I will be very disappointed in the Academy. They, after all, owe it to the world to show some common sense after the Best Picture debacle of 2006.

7.5/10

Babel

Babel was a great movie. Well made with excellent scenery and an intricate plot, Babel is a must-see. If Babel gets Best Picture, which it may well do, I will nod with approval rather than want to throw things at the TV.

8/10

Tane's reviews: The Prestige

Any decent magician knows that when you give away the secret of how the trick is done, the magic goes. So it is with the plot of The Prestige – much of the pleasure of the movie is in seeing the story unfold. Which means I won’t say much about the plot, other than that it is about the bitter, destructive rivalry of two stage magicians (Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale) in late 19th Century London, and is one of the most intriguing stories I’ve seen.

As well as the plot, The Prestige features a richly detailed setting, the charms of Scarlett Johanssen and class of Michael Caine, and two of the most watchable stars around in Bale and Jackman. There’s small but memorable performances by Andy Serkis and David Bowie too.

Director Christopher Nolan was the man behind Memento, and has produced a similar film here, all fractured time and mystery. Like Memento, the more you think about it the more is revealed, with little clues and moments of foreshadowing slotting into place.

Also like Memento, you realise there’s a few logical loopholes – but nothing to detract much from the film. What is a major flaw is the lack of pace, with the film almost running out of steam about two-thirds of the way through. It picks up again for the finale, but by then its grip has loosened somewhat.

I came out of it wanting to give it 7/10, but The Prestige is such a fascinating tale it lingers with you more than films that had more of an immediate impact. It’s a tale you will be arguing about days later, which says a lot for its quality.

7.5/10

Tane's reviews: Babel

“And they said, Go to, let us build us a city, and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.
And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded.
And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.
Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.
So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.
Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.”

- The King James Bible

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0449467/

Two boys are guarding goats in the arid mountains of Morocco. Seeking to test the range of their dad's expensive new rifle, they take a pot shot at a bus. And hit a tourist.
So begins a series of events that takes in the boys and their dirt-poor family, an American couple (Kate Blanchett and Brad Pitt) trying to get over the death of a baby, a Mexican nanny (Adriana Barazza) desperate to get across the border to her son’s wedding and a deaf-mute teenage Japanese girl (Rinko Kikuchi). They are linked by that single shot and by common themes.
Director Alejandro Gonzales Inarritu helmed similar films in 21 Grams and Amores Perros, which I have not seen but were heavily praised. This is the third in that ‘trilogy’, a grim and powerful film veined with moments of beauty such as the magnificent desolation of Morocco, the exuberance at a Mexican wedding and the glittering Tokyo cityscape.
Plaudits go to Blanchett and Pitt, who, along with Latino superstar Gael Garcia Bernal, deliver strong performances. It is the lesser-known actors, however, who deliver the most memorable acting - those playing the Moroccan family, Barazza and most heartrending of all, Kikuchi.
With its fractured plot interweaving the lives of large multiracial cast, Babel resembles Crash. However, it’s a considerably better film, as it is not as tiresomely repetitive and simplistic as last year’s “Best Picture”. Indeed, Babel may edge out The Departed, Tsotsi, Little Miss Sunshine, United 93 and The Queen as the best film I’ve seen in the last 12 months.

8.5/10

Tane's Reviews: The Queen

It was, with September 11, one of the two JFK shooting days of our generation. Everyone remembers where they were when they heard the news.
I was in Paul Brown’s car being driven from Opotiki back to university in Hamilton when the radio told us Princess Diana had been in a car crash, and her partner Dodi Al-Fayed had been killed. What if she died, we said. Whoa, that’d be big.
Then we got back to Student Village, someone told us she had.
The Queen is set around the time of Diana death, and focuses on its impact on the Royal Family. In particular, it looks at how Queen Elizabeth II (Helen Mirren) deals with an event which came closer than any other in centuries to turning Britain into a republic.
You may remember the bollocking the Royals got at the time, for failing to fly a flag at half mast above Buckingham Palace (it was against tradition) and for not publicly acknowledging the life of the Princess or the near-hysterical grief that swept Britain and much of the world. Instead, they stayed in their retreat in the Scottish Highlands, hunting and walking the dogs, comforting the young princes, while the outrage grew.
The only one who really seems to grasp the situation is the new Prime Minister, the bright, shiny, media savvy Tony Blair (Michael Sheen). However, the hidebound Royals treat him with a mixture of suspicion and contempt.
The Queen paints a tense, believable view of events. Save for Blair’s smarmy spin-doctor Alastair Campbell and the crusty Prince Phillip (James Cromwell), director Stephen Frears is sympathetic to his characters. The Royals are caught between maintaining centuries of tradition - the stiff upper lip and all that protocol - and having to put on a show of mourning for a woman who had waged a public relations war with them for years.
While it takes a little while get over the odd sensation of seeing still-prominent public figures played by actors in a serious film, the performances in The Queen are outstanding. Sheen is perhaps a bit too fresh-faced and humble as Blair, but it should be remembered that this was a time when he was seen as the best thing in the UK since The Beatles, before his image as a shallow, slick poodle of George Bush became established. He’s something of a hero here.
While Blair – and his wife Cherie (Helen McCrory) – are prominent in the film, it is Mirren who dominates it. Her performance has been showered with praise and awards, and justly so. She puts a warm and likeable face to a woman whose image is anything but, while does not stint on showing Elizabeth’s flaws, such as how out of touch with reality she was. This is Her Majesty behind the polite smile and little wave, who doubts, fears and even makes jokes.
With that superb performance, a witty and penetrating script and clever use of news footage, The Queen manages the difficult task of showing contemporary events without sensation or sentimentality, but still keeping them filled with emotion. Wonder of wonders, it even made this avowed republican feel a bit fond of the old dinosaur on our $20 note.

8/10

Holiday pictures! Bush, boulders and belly ache (Lauren)

I have just had a great holiday. So much so, I am going to subject you to a short summer blurb, Christmas blurb, stomach bug OF DOOM blurb, then blurb about the coolest places Tane and I visited.

This year we had to leave Wellington to find some sun - apparently it was the coldest December Wellington had for over 70 years. It was well worth it though after spending a week in Auckland and Opotiki becoming re-acquainted with my sandals, shorts, and little tops from the House of G. They had been feeling a bit sad and neglected at the back of my closet. I think that my summer clothes really enjoyed going to the beach, on walks, and spending ages sitting in the sun while I read.

Christmas was the best I've had in years. I enjoyed good food at both Mum’s and Dad’s, as well as hanging with the whanau and playing poker after being inspired by ‘Casino Royale’. Although, I do have a long way to go in learning how to be good enough to play a villain that cries tears. A first step would be learning to hide a gleeful smile when dealt a good hand. Sigh. This bluffing business is hard work.

Seeing in the New Year was slightly less fun. Tane and I were in Auckland with Mum, which was lovely and relaxing…until the bug OF DOOM hit me in the middle of the night. Only capital letters can express just how ‘of doom’ the bug was. Both Tane and I spent some of the holiday very very sick. I was so sick, even the thought of drinking coke made me shudder. The Bug OF DOOM had no mercy, and timed itself perfectly for the night before a long car trip. Ug. Lucky that the rest of the holiday was so good that being as sick as a dog didn’t really matter.

Sick with Mouse the Cat. Who actually has cancer
so I really shouldn't complain.

The highlight of the holiday was Whirinaki Forest in the Urewera National Park. Tane, Tane's Dad and I went there for a day walk last Sunday. It was simply amazing - the air was so fresh and the bush so rich that there is nothing that I could say about it that wouldn't sound corny. We went for a lovely walk to a waterfall, and another to a canyon. There is nothing better than being in the middle of nowhere where the sound of birds are all around you and the sound of cars far away.

Tane and his Dad in the forest

Tane and I also had a fabulous explore of the bush out the back of Opotiki while on holiday, in search of some boulders that were supposed to be very cool. A few hours was added to the trip as we got lost, and instead of boulders found a very creepy area in the middle of the bush where, it appeared, old cars went to die. We eventually found the boulders after much walking around windy gravel roads. The joy in finding them came second however to the joy of realising that we were no longer lost and not going to be shot at by Opotiki’s equivalent of Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel for snooping around his car cemetery.

Finally at the boulders. Yay!

I did leave the festive season thinking one thing though: who writes the jokes in Christmas crackers? In my cracker this Christmas I got a large tacky paperclip and a joke about Cinderella going to the photo shop to get her "Prints". It makes me wonder who writes those jokes. Are there a group of people sitting around in a room thinking about them, slapping each other on the back with glee when one realises that "prints" sounds like "prince" so it can be the subject of a joke? If you happen to know anyone who has this job, please slap them for me. Hard.

For info on Whirinaki:

http://www.doc.govt.nz/templates/page.aspx?id=34560

To the Is-land (Lauren)

Islands are cool! Nature reserve islands are even cooler.

Lured by the coolness of islands, Tane and I went to visit Matiu Somes Island about a month ago. Matiu Somes sits plonk in the middle of Wellington Harbour and used to be where people were quarantined. Except for in the World Wars, when lots of Italians, Germans, and Japanese were sent there to live. These poor people weren’t aware of it themselves, but apparently they were a national threat. Matiu Somes was very cool– you can see gun enplacements (in case Wellington got invaded), woolly sheep (the current inhabitants) and giant seagulls (very scary when they want your lunch). Apparently you can see tuatara there too, but we only saw their weta body part-filled poo. Given that the boats only come every few hours, going to Matiu Somes was a great way to catch up on some reading as well.

One of the gun enplacements on Matiu Somes island

On the general island theme, Tane and I went to Kapiti Island last weekend as well. For those of you from far-flung lands, Kapiti Island is a large nature reserve off the coast north of Wellington. It's large and lumpy, and when I was little I thought it looked like a crocodile sleeping.

We went with Bonnie, Ash and Ed, after booking the trip months ago. The Island is amazing – native birds completely dominate it, and I have never heard so many of them singing in one place. The sound of them is so overwhelming most people were walking around in silence as if respecting the birds’ space.

Kapiti is well worth a trip. You can climb to the top, be harassed by weka, and get a neat boat trip to boot.

You can also delete the entire memory card of your digital camera at the end of the day too, eh Tane?

Being stalked by weka while eating

lunch at Kapiti

(photo courtesy of Bonnie)

Five most memorable moments of 2006 (Lauren)

The year is about to draw to a close, which is a good excuse to be self-indulgent and reflect upon my five most memorable moments of 2006. And note that by ‘memorable’ I don’t mean ‘best’. Merely, the five moments of the past year that I am most likely to remember in moons to come.

One: The one with the wrongly sent email

While at work one day I sent a kissy smoochy email to Tane.. After I pressed send I realised that the email had gone to my boss instead. Lucky I was able to tell him in time that wasn’t him that I was interested in planting a sloppy kiss on. The minutes following the realisation my heartfelt goop had been sent to the wrong person were by far the most stressful of the year though.

Two: The one with the missed flight

On a trip to the Far North, the people I was with and I decided that we had enough time before the plane left to stop for a coffee. All was well and good until we arrived at the airport to see our plane cruising down the runway and taking off. It was one of those moments where all you can do is gape like an idiot.

Three: The one where Bruce came to the rescue

Tane and I were on the very first day of a week long holiday around the East Coast. That day had all the makings of a fantastic first day of a fantastic holiday, until ….

We stopped at a small bay about an hour's drive east of Opotiki for some reading by the warm sea. I decided to get my book from the car, and after fumbling around in my over-packed suitcase for a while retrieved the book and closed the boot. I then realised, about a second too late, that the keys were still in the boot.

I timidly approached Tane with the most bashful expression I could muster before admitting that I had locked the keys in the car. He laughed, thinking I was joking. His laughter stopped abruptly when realising I was not. We were in the middle of nowhere, and after finding out that shaking our fists at the car wouldn’t open the boot, Tane set off on foot to find help. He returned what felt like hours later with a hard case mechanic named Bruce, found somewhere in the middle of nowhere fiddling with cars and the like. Bruce told me that I should be “hung, drawn and quartered”. I was so grateful that we were able to set off on our way, though, that I didn’t care.

Four: The one with the lying signpost

The tramp around Waikaremoana was awesome. The beautiful lake, the scenery, the mist reminding you that you are in the Tuhoe country Elsdon Best wrote about. There were less fun parts too – the man who snored like a foghorn, the kids that preferred to sing The Sound of Music than sleep, the blisters the size of 50 cent coins (the old ones!) … and the lying signpost.

On the second day after about 8 hours of walking, we came upon a sign telling us that the hut where we would spend the night was 45 minutes away. ‘Hurrah!’ I thought, too tired to even say it out loud. Knowing it was the last walking we would do that day I poured every ounce of my energy into that last stretch. Checking my watch every 5 minutes, I urged my legs along thinking “just 30 more minutes … just 20 more minutes”.

When 45 minutes had passed my heart soared, happy that I could finally take off my smelly tramping boots and snuggle up somewhere soft and warm. I was so busy imagining how lying down would feel I almost missed yet another sign, pointing to where our hut would be, and taunting me with the message that the hut was another 45 minutes away. It felt like Groundhog Day, and was the most physically painful moment of 2006 by a long shot.

Five: The one with the chopsticks

I have been in so many situations where I am in an Asian restaurant, and am the only person present who can't use chopsticks. This is always a dilemma - do I ask for a fork and look like a fool, or attempt to use the chopsticks? The first options takes a bit of swallowing the old pride, whereas the second option always runs the risk of dropping food down your cleavage by accident, which has happened to me. I have been told so many times to 'hold them like a pencil!' This advice is flawed though as apparently I hold my pencil like a munter.

The whole chopsticks thing was becoming a bit of a drama. My sister Erin finally intervened and bought me some baby plastic chopsticks. They are great, and look like a giant peg. But, they did the trick and now I can use the real thing. Yay!

Honourable mentions:

• Doing a triathlon in the pouring rain.
• Crashing my Dad’s place one stormy evening in the middle of July after the weather grounded my plane to Hamilton, scaring the ba-jesus out of my sister Ngaire who was staying there alone when I thumped on the door.
• Finally making it to Hamilton the next day and arriving to Tane holding a giant sign featuring elephants, stilt-walkers, a blimp and the words “Welcome to Hamilton Lauren!”
• Tane giving his notice at the Times and moving down.
• Hearing the Prime Minister deliver a speech that I wrote.
• Seeing my Mum after she’d been in Pitcairn Island for 4 months.
• Swimming in the Karangahake Gorge in the freezing cold and the rain just because we could.

Tane's reviews: Casino Royale

It’s Bond, Jim, but not as we know him.

In just about every previous Bond film, Agent 007 is much the same person. A cunning, suave and deadly man, aged in his thirties or forties, with years of work for Her Majesty’s Secret Service behind him. Times change, but Bond does not.

Nor, as a rule, do his movies’ plots. Here’s the formula: megalomaniac hatches scheme for world domination, aided by an army of henchmen and a quirky bodyguard who is nearly as dangerous as Bond. There are two main women, one evil and doomed, the other good and destined to end the film in the all-conquering Bond’s arms.

This is not the plot of Casino Royale.

Like Batman Begins, Casino Royale hits the reset button on a franchise that had gotten increasingly over-the-top. We are back at the beginning of the legend, with Bond (Daniel Craig) killing his way to “00” status, then taking on his first big mission.

That mission involves Bond, on the orders of spy chief M (the magnificent Judi Dench), trying to smash an organization supporting terrorist groups. The trail leads him to sinister banker Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen), and a poker game with very high stakes. Keeping an eye on the government’s money is Treasury official Vesper Lynn (Eva Green), a beautiful woman who can hold her own with Bond when it comes to cutting observations.

This is a darker and more realistic movie than any other Bond film I have seen. The gadgets are gone, as is the man who handed them out, Q, and the action stays just on the right side of believable. No invisible cars here.

In short, silly is out and serious is in.

As this grimmer hero, Craig is perfect. He has arrogance, roguish good looks, a tigerish physical presence. And his glacial blue eyes are those of a man who could kill you and not care one whit.

But he is more than just a beautiful killer. Craig has showed in arthouse films such as The Mother than he can really act, and the script lets him show his skills. We see Bond bruised. Bond failing. Bond tender. Bond introspective. Bond in love. Bond a much more interesting character.

And this is appropriate, because Casino Royale is at heart a tragedy. This is how Bond became 007 and, when you strip away the veneers of charm and selective morality, 007 is a failure as a human being.

He kills without remorse, and sometimes with pleasure. He is incapable of maintaining a loving relationship. He drinks too much. He trusts no one. Frankly, Bond is a borderline psychopath.

Many of the characters in the film realise this, including himself. This is his chance, as he says to Vesper, for him to get out with what little soul he has left.

It’s not all brooding, of course. There’s some very funny lines in Casino Royale – Lyn and Bond’s first conversation is straight out of the Bogart and Bacall school of wit – and the tension rarely lets up. The poker game is gripping and the bare-knuckle action is perhaps the best of any Bond film – the tank chase in GoldenEye excepted. And the exotic locations are as gorgeous as ever.

What stops it from being a great film is the final quarter, where the film takes too long to get to its climax and makes the mistake of introducing a new main villain. And, much as I like seeing Bond in love, it’s a bit too soppy.

The other thing that gives me doubts is where the series can go from here. Yes, in the wake of grittier, more plausible rivals such as the Jason Bourne films, the series needed a reboot. But take away the silly superhero stuff that made the likes of Die Another Day such enjoyable trash, and can we stand to watch a professional murderer shooting and shagging his way through another film? Craig’s magnetic, but not that magnetic. I suspect that even the way he fills out his blue togs (which I have on good authority is impressive) will not be enough.

Despite these reservations, and some pretty ridiculous opening credits, Casino Royale is one of the best Bond films. Kiwi director Martin Campbell, who also helmed GoldenEye, has now directed the two finest Bond films of recent decades. It’s a must-see for fans, and a good entry into the series.

7.5/10

Tane's reviews: Children of Men

There’s a line that ends a David Eddings book that I really like. It goes something like this.

“And so they went to see that thing which, though it is an everyday miracle, is a miracle nonetheless.”

But what would happen if that miracle stopped?

London, 2027. A city of dirt, rubbish, and blank eyes. Policemen stand on every corner. Billboards advertise suicide pills. Illegal immigrants are sent to a walled-in ghetto on the coast. Bombs explode in cafes. Elsewhere in the world, it is supposedly even worse.

It is a world in despair, because no child has been born in more than 18 years.

Theo Faron (Clive Owen) is like most people. He is slowly stumbling towards extinction, without knowing why. The only bright spot in his life is his friendship with Jasper, a political cartoonist turned dope grower (Michael Caine). That is, until Julian (Julianne Moore), an old flame who has become a rebel leader, reappears. She introduces him to Kee (Claire-Hope Ashitey), who shows him miracles can still happen.

It is up to Theo to protect the only pregnant woman in the world.

There’s a lot of minor imperfections in Children of Men. Some weak acting from the minor actors, some wooden lines, some clunky lurches in plot. But these are overwhelmed by the sheer power of two things – the concept (Lord of the Flies in reverse) and the atmosphere.

A bleak pall hangs over the whole movie, an air of decay and encroaching anarchy. It’s a backdrop created by the unbroken sense of realism. Here and there are touches of technology, such as the electric cars, to remind you this is the future, but everything is touched with grime. Violence is common, and is brutally realistic – wait for a battle scene that is something out of the Gaza Strip.

Against this desolate backdrop, the one hope there is shines all the brighter.

Of course, the quality of Children of Men’s production design wouldn’t mean much without the strong acting by Owen, Caine, Moore, Ashtiley and most of the others playing the main characters. They and director Alfonso Cuaron can take a bow – this is a damn fine film.

8/10

Tell us your strange food story! (Lauren)

As any of you who have travelled would know, one of the delightful parts of seeing the world and experiencing diverse cultures is sampling the foods that other people consider delicacies. This can be a challenge, however, when someone presents a plate of food to you with pride, and upon taking one look at it, all you want to do is vomit in your own mouth. Or, at the very least, openly shudder and the idea of what is on the plate will soon be in your poor unsuspecting stomach. The person serving the food may smile, proud that they have a nice meal to feed their guest. You, on the other hand, both wonder what the hell is on your plate, and is it poisonous.

I was reminded of this aspect of travelling last Friday during a visit to a marae in Rotorua. We were herded into the whare kai, single file, greeted by the fantastic, strong sound of a local kapa haka group in full song. It was a festive occasion, and Te Arawa (our hosts) had put on a feed that most would have loved to eat. I, though, am not a seafood kinda gal, and was put in the position of being served a plate filled with food that perplexed me. First, a little orange sea beast stared up at me with small beady black eyes. If I wasn’t certain it was already dead, I could have sworn it was laughing at my discomfort. Also, I say ‘sea beast’ because I am not completely sure what it was – although suspect that due to the crusty exterior and dangerous looking pinch claws it was a sea best of the crawling-around-in-the-rocks variety. Next to the sea beast was some dark goo – eel, I was told later. The plate also contained kina, and something that looked like seaweed. I tried each in turn, not necessarily enjoying them, but trying them nonetheless.

The seaweed like substance was by far the most perplexing – it tasted like a strange mix of oil and salt. I never would have guessed that it was mutton bird, and can only guess that it was a mutton bird that had been to Jenny Craig as I didn’t taste any meat. Unless, of course, it got melted in all the oil!

My best food story is a few years old now, but was when I was living in Italy I woke up one morning and got myself a glass of water from the tap. I almost wound up looking like Cruella De Vil after finding four sheep heads floating in their own blood in the kitchen sink. I’m not talking skeletons either, but the works – brains, eyes, and tongues as well. I later found out from my bemused host mother that as it was Easter, we were going to all have something special for dinner. Not Easter eggs, oh no. A sheep’s head each. I can’t remember if I laughed or cried, but all through that dinner, I felt four pairs of sheep eyes on me. Until they were eaten, of course.

Now, this kind of experience is by no means unique to me – I am sure heaps of you have great foreign food stories. Tane’s spider eating story still makes me shudder if I think too much about it, and someone at my work says that one of the best meals they have eaten was goat testicles.
What’s yours? A virtual chocolate fish to anyone who can impress me!

Lauren and Tane go on a Lighthouse Mission (Lauren)

About a year ago, I decided that I wanted to see each of the lighthouses at the four tips of the North Island; Cape Egmont in Taranaki, the lighthouse at Cape Reinga, East Cape lighthouse, and Cape Palliser lighthouse in the southern Wairarapa. Lucky for me, Tane was also keen, as he has requisite vehicle, excellent selection of mix tapes, as well as being my favourite travel buddy.

The first lighthouse we went to was the one at Cape Egmont. Tane and I drove there on a grey Taranaki day, playing ‘Spot the Maunga’ as it peeked out from behind the clouds and stopping small country pubs to sample the local beer. Access to the lighthouse itself was through farmland, and our trip was delayed by large groups of ducks walking over the roads. The most memorable part of the day was not the lighthouse, but watching Tane avoid backing the car down a large hole by the side of the road. The lighthouse itself was lovely though, and I imagine would be even more so had the Mountain co-operated and appeared from behind the clouds. For something that so many people would love to photograph, have paintings of, or mihi to, it really is very shy.

The second lighthouse, East Cape, was visited during a week long road trip around the East Coast. For those of you who have not been to that part of the world I thoroughly recommend it – not only is the scenery unparalleled, but after a few days up the coast I began to feel like I was in a whole different country than the New Zealand I was used to. In particular, when in a dual language 4 Square in Tokomaru, or a burger bar in Ruatoria where English was not spoken at all. The East Cape lighthouse was by far the hardest of the four to get to by road, and the best thigh workout to actually climb up to. I was in the middle of my tri training at the time, and still found it a huge effort (I shudder to think how bad I would find it now). Not only was the staircase at least 10 km long (or so it felt), we were climbing up in winds that made us think that we were going to be pushed off the hill, as well as rain that made the climb esecially slippery. The elements added to the fun, however, especially when the top was finally reached. Due to the weather we were completely surrounded by fog, making Tane and I think that we were at the edge of the world. That, and thinking that if I were ever going to climb to this lighthouse again I would have to put in some serious work on the stair machine at the gym first.

Lighthouse number three was the one at Cape Reinga – the point wrongly thought to be the northernmost point of New Zealand. I was unable to go to the actual northernmost lighthouse on Murimotu Island on account of it only having helicopter or boat access. How inconvenient. Cape Reinga, though, is still important to many Maori as it is the end of the Spiritual Pathway (Te Ara Wairua), where the spirits are said to leap to Hawaiki after a long journey up Ninety Mile Beach. The lighthouse itself was fairly standard and access was disappointedly easy. Northland is a great province to visit nonetheless. While there I was lucky to get the chance to travel up the entire length of Ninety Mile Beach in a four wheel drive as well as stand on the actual northern tip of New Zealand (the Surville Cliffs) despite it being a scientific reserve with no public access allowed without DOC permission. Very cool. I wish Tane could have come too, but it would have been difficult to pass a journalist off as a Crown official at that point. Lucky he has since come over to the dark side.

It was funny that the last lighthouse we visited was the one nearest Wellington, Cape Palliser. Tane and I went for a mini break to the Wairarapa, which was a fantastic weekend. We went to random small towns, as well as the home of Tui Beer in Mangatanauka - one part of New Zealand that feminism has not reached yet. We also had a great time at a wildlife reserve where we saw kiwis, tuataras, and a big scary noisy bird that Tane said reminded him of me in the mornings. Cape Palliser was a long windy drive from Masterton, through countryside so remote we were having to remind ourselves that Wellington was only a couple of hours away. The lighthouse itself was up a huge hill, and after the East Cape experience, I embarked upon the climb nervously. It was much easier to climb, however, and we could actually see things from the top. The way down was fine too, although a combination of the cold day and the steps obviously had a toxic combination as I had trouble walking for about the next three days and Tane was equally sore. Perhaps we are just wusses? Maybe. Although I prefer to think that there is some sort of curse on the lighthouse that strikes especially cool people when they visit instead.

In sum, the lighthouses themselves were pretty much exactly the same. Big, white (or red and white in the case of Palliser), majestic and lonely looking. Seeing the four tips of the North Island was a great thing to have done, however, as it took us to random locations that I may not have gone to otherwise. I really would recommend it to anyone wanting to see a great cross section of places in the North Island. That, and getting a great leg workout.

Introduction (Lauren)

Well, I have finally embarked upon getting a blog albeit a joint one. I used to think that they were self indulgent and egocentric, so resisted getting one in the past. I still think that they are self indulgent and egocentric, the difference being that I now don’t care. Also, this way, when we go overseas next year, Tane and I won’t be bombarding the same people with different emails about the cool things that we are seeing and doing.

It does occur to me, however, that it’s a great pity to focus on grand overseas adventures when there are so many things to see and do here in New Zealand. At a guess, more people who are likely to read this blog have been to Paris, Rome or London than Ruatoria, Te Kao or Ngawi – three very cool towns in different corners of New Zealand that I have been to in the last year. I’m not saying that I am not gagging to get my OE started, as I am, nor that Paris, Rome and London are not amazing cities to visit. Merely, that I am determined to be a tourist in my own country while waiting for next July to roll around, and to remind myself that just because it’s in New Zealand doesn’t mean that it is boring.

Now that rant is out of the way (my first blog rant! Bless!), I can move onto my book reviews… I love reading, and wanted a place to put my reviews. There is no way I can review every book I read as I read them at a crazy rate, but want to review at least the ones that I loved, hated, or that are being talked about. If you have read any of them yourselves I’d love to hear your opinions as I love a good discussion about books, although I am a bit over talking about the Da Vinci Code.....

I look forward to your feedback!

-Lauren

Tane's reviews: Borat

Poor Kazakhstan. The giant steppe nation has a PR person’s nightmare – a world-famous comedian playing a backwards, bigoted idiot from their country in a film screening across the globe. Any attempt you make to discredit it just gives the film more publicity.

And so it’s proven – British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, the man who brought us Ali G, has struck gold with Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Kazakhstan.

Borat is a simple, straightforward and very funny film. The title character is a presenter on Kazakh TV, who lives in a shack along with a cow, his sister (number four prostitute in all Kazakhstan!) and his mother, at 43 the village’s oldest woman. Unsurprisingly, he has a few prejudices – for example, he thinks women have brains smaller than a squirrel’s, Jews can shape-shift and America is the greatest country on earth.

With this last idea in mind, Borat, his producer and a film crew decide to film a documentary about America. So they get into their car, hitch up the horses to it, and head to New York to begin to bemuse unsuspecting Americans.

Packed with racism, homophobia and sexism, this is a film that will make bleeding-heart liberals like me squirm, even though it’s all in fun. Baron Cohen, who is Jewish, is relentlessly mocking Borat’s views, as well as the almost equally redneck Americans he meets along the way.

The film is at its best in these moments, when the jaw-dropping bigotry of some of the people Borat meets is exposed. Most of the rest of the film, when Cohen is discomforting ordinary people, is less amusing, though still worth a laugh.

And – if you can put your liberal outrage into the box it should be in - there are a lot of laughs. Watch for The Running of the Jew, the naked fight, the bear, the chicken, Pamela Anderson.

Just spare a thought for those poor, poor people in the Kazakh government’s PR team – who couldn’t take the joke.

7.5/10