Lily at one, Amotai at three

A strange thing just occurred to me. Spring will never be what it was.

Of course the arrival of the season has always been nice: blossoms, daffodils, ducklings, the return of warmth and sunny evenings. It's not quite as dramatic as it is in the UK because we have so many evergreens and the winter isn't so grim, but it's still an uplifting time. But now, for us it is even nicer because both of our children were born in the early Spring. A beautiful day at this time of year will always remind me of the day we took Amotai home and took him out on the deck to get his first sunshine (a couple of days before we should have, which might explain his olive complexion), or of light streaming through the windows of the lounge while Lily lay in her basket.

Both of our children had their birthdays in the last month, Lily's first and Amotai's third. We had a horrendous run of illnesses in early September, with Lily picking up hand, foot and mouth at creche, then passing it on to Amotai, who scratched his sores and picked up a virulent bacterial infection. Then, when Lily was finally well enough to return to creche she got rotavirus. A vomiting baby with spots, a runny nose and explosive diahorrea is not one of my top parenting experiences.

Thankfully they were through this by the time their birthdays came around, so we had some lovely times with them and with family who traveled a long way to visit us.

So now Lily is one, and not really a baby anymore. And Amotai is three. As he would say "I'm not a little boy, I'm a big boy!" This is a snapshot of our children.

Lily
The most physically remarkable things about Lily have always been her mop of hair and bright blue eyes. First thing in the morning her head looks like a haystack with sapphires hidden inside.

She's a feisty little thing, quite independent compared to Amotai and with a mean angry face (usually when something is taken from her, which unfortunately her brother does a lot). She's very keen to explore - particularly now she's walking. The speed that she's picked it up is amazing - it seems like in the last week she's gone from 80% crawling to 80% walking. She's even able to walk carrying things now, particularly her newfound favourite toy, Grumpy Cat.

Giving Grumpy Cat a brush

Lily's other likes? There's singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, which is something she picked up from creche (at least there was something aside from illness). There's books too, which she's recently become really interested in. Initially it was the touch and feel ones like the That's not my... series, now it's others like the charming Toddle Waddle and classic Brown Bear and sequel Baby Bear.

It's nice to say that she also likes it when Dad comes home. I usually get a grin, a crawl or toddle over to me and "Dadadadadadad".

At Staglands

Amotai
Amotai often gets complimented on what a good boy he is, and he is, but recently he has belatedly entered the terrible twos or, given his age, become a 'threenager'. That means he often gets stroppy as he tries asserting control of his world - he's very particular about certain things, such as how sandwiches are cut or which parent does what, and will very firmly let you know what he doesn't want.

Grumpiness is the exception to the rule though. He's a sweet boy who loves cuddles, almost always summoning me to give him one in bed during the night, books, playgrounds, Peppa Pig, the Wiggles and going to sleep with soft toys Pinky (my old elephant), Bluey (his new elephant) and Babydoll.

Most of all he loves things with wheels, a fascination he's had since he was a baby and I used to take him to watch the traffic on the road outside. He loves riding his bike (particularly if I'm riding the dump truck behind him) and lining up his cars - like his Dad he finds it satisfying putting things in order.

Also like his Dad, I think he's a slight introvert - though he does have some good friends in Cooper, Scarlet and particularly Cassandra, who's been his best mate since they were one.

They're two different people, our kids, but they like each other and we love them. Looking forward to many, many Springs to come!

All gone raisins

Something's happened to Amotai since Christmas. You're always aware that a baby/toddler is sucking up information like a vacuum cleaner and the speed at which they grown and change is (despite how many times you hear or say it) amazing. But in the last couple of months Amotai's brain seems to have been supercharged. It's as if you can see his synapses firing and neurons making new connections while you watch him.

I think the reason why he seems to have gone into cognitive hyperdrive is because he's talking so much more.   His first word was "dap" (clap), back in September last year. "Dat" (as in 'what's that') came soon after. After that he started saying other words, such as "did" (dad), but interestingly not 'mum', "bid" (bird), "tee" (tree) and "tar" (car). Tar, tar, tar, tar. Our boy sure does love his vehicles. I often stand holding him beside our driveway and we watch the traffic rush by. I'm always the one to crack first and go back inside. A few nights ago he said "yay car" in his sleep.

Amotai's favourite tar - Grandad Ray's Mondomobile

The obligatory cheesy entry about Amotai's first year

Tomorrow is Amotai's first birthday. 6 Oct 2011 started fairly normally - Tane went to work, I slept in, surfed the Internet, and emailed Stephen to complain about being one week overdue. I then waddled to the supermarket to buy drinks and dinner for two of my sisters, Mum and Step-father, nephew and two nieces who were due to come for dinner, and waddled home laden with bags. 'Twas a hard walk home indeed. Family came around, and nephew slobbered on my belly (we have since decided he has the kiss of labour.) At about 4pm we decided to buy Indian instead of what I had bought, and at 5pm on the dot I called Tane to asked what he wanted. Labour hit, and I had to put down the phone. A few hours of pain, swearing, excruciating drive to hospital, begging for epidural, being told no, pain, Mum trying to frantically re-book some plane tickets, more pain, a failed attempt to eat naan , Amotai getting in trouble, a dr being called and more pain later, Amotai was born at 9.26 pm. And there began what has probably been the most rewarding and awesome year of my life.

The day after he was born. When I remember Amotai in hospital, I always think of the Elvis collar on this outfit

I love being a mum. I loved being at home with Amotai, and really enjoyed all the groups I got involved with and other first-time mums I met. It's been fun watching Amotai grow, and getting to know him as he has gone from being a tiny baby to a little boy. It been fabulous seeing a different side of Tane - especially when he took his turn at being a stay home parent. There have been so many lovely moments watching Amotai learn and grow. From the day he was born, to today when I watched him as learnt that if you throw your toy trains to the back of the couch, you can no longer reach them. Apparently "dat dat brrrm brrrm" said while pointing means "Mum can you please reach my train for me?" It's been a great year, and I hope for at least 80 more.

Celebrating his last day in zero digits

Bringing baby up bi-lingual

As many of you know, it's Maori language week this week. I always enjoy Maori language week, especially seeing how every year a little more of the language is used in mainstream media - yesterday the cities in the weather on the news were called by their Maori names, the NZ Herald changed their masthead, and my gym instructor talked about it. This is Amotai's first Maori language week, though, and it has got me thinking: how can I bring up a bi-lingual child? The studies detailing the benefit of a second language are endless - it's good for brain development, cultural awareness, and helps children learn other languages later. But, in practice, how can I bring up Amotai learning another language? Especially when my second-language skills are limited to basic Maori, conversational but not fluent Italian, basic Spanish, and one German module entitled "in the supermarket"?

Things our baby likes

Time rolls on, Our tastes change. Once upon a time I didn't like avocado or pumpkin. Once upon a time my favourite comic was Roy of the Rovers.

When you're under a year old, your tastes change a lot quicker. This is a snapshot of what Amotai is into in his ninth month in the world . It's also an excuse to put up some of my favourite recent photos.

Wheels

If it rolls or spins, Amotai is a big fan.

 Rings

Or, to be precise, the classic Rock-a-Stack toy - thanks heaps, Emma!

Books

Sometimes when he's upset, nothing soothes him but a cuddle and a read of one of his favourite books: Brown Bear, Each Peach Pear Plum, One Mole Digging a Hole, Toddle Waddle and some of the That's Not My... series.

 Sleeping on his tummy

Not long ago he always slept on his back. Now it's always on his front. Lord knows how he manages to stay asleep in some of the positions he gets into.

 Exploring

Now he can crawl quickly and pull himself up, he is master of his domain. We say 'no' a lot now, when he goes for the laptop power cord, the phone, books and some other things. We're yet to see much of a deterrent effect.

 Other little people

He's a sociable little boy, which is really nice. Unless you're the kid whose hair he pulls.

 New things

In this case, the beach at Makara and the stones on it. Which, of course, he tried to taste.

 Mum

Especially when she comes home from work. Speaking from experience, after a long day at the office that grin is the greatest thing in the world.

 Dad

He's alright, the old man. He's particularly funny when he crawls after me trying to put my nappies on.

Stay-at-home fatherhood

One of the best features of New Zealand's parental leave laws is that the year of unpaid, job-protected leave can be split between both parents. Lauren finished up her stint in April and it's my seventh week of being a stay-at-home dad.

I've got a fine role model for this - my father's held the home front and looked after a succession of kids for decades, while mum went to work. It was a rare man who took on that role back in the 80s and it's still unusual now. Though things are slowly changing, even in liberal Wellington there are few stay-at-home dads. For example, when I take Amotai to a baby-focused activity (e.g. sing-a-long at the local library) there's about one man for every ten women. I've not seen another man at the Plunket talks I've been to.

The world Amotai will grow up in

Is anyone else really really happy that Facebook and blogs weren't around when we were teenagers? I know that a blog is by definition about self-indulgent navel gazing and grandstanding, but had they been around in my late teens/early 20s, it would have been even worse than it is now. I also shudder to think what sort of Facebook updates 15-year old me would have posted. I imagine they would have probably fluctuated between the ridiculous and pretentious to the ridiculous and weird. Cyberspace is a better place for not having a record of my teenage antics.

One year ago

What a year! From this, this time last year:

To this.

And at risk of sounding cheesier than a cheese burger, I'd take the mushed up food any day

View from the front pack

Amotai is a big fan of the front pack. There is a lot to look at while strapped to my front, and plenty of strangers to give big, gummy grins to. Sometimes there are people who put the "strange" in "stranger", and find it appropriate to touch him and get into his (and my) personal space while cooing at him (looking at you, strange lady in the Karori post shop). But, by and large, he seems to really enjoy it. The places he gets to see the most often from the front pack are the supermarket, library, and local Four Square.

Here are some of the more interesting things he's seen from the front pack recently:

Takahe at Zealandia

Arrowton

Milford Sound

The summer that was

Today felt like the end of summer. It was a lovely, sunny and warm day - though, this being Wellington, it was also windy enough to knock over the washing.

Talk to most people in the northern three quarters of the country and they'll grumble about what a rubbish summer it was. Lauren however, thinks it's been a very good one. Being at home, she's been able to make the most of the good days during the week while the rest of us are teathered to our desks. It's made me realise that, for workers, a summer is defined by how the weather is during the holidays and weekends - principally the Christmas-New Year break.

It's a shame that we load so much onto those days off. Remember those endless, lazy, sunburnt weeks between the end of school (or university) and the new term? One searing day fading into another. Those were summers.

This hasn't been one of those, but it has been a memorable summer - after all, it's the first one with Amotai. We've peppered the last few months with short holidays, so the poor lad has clocked up a lot of kilometres. First there was the trip to Dunedin for Lauren's sister's graduation.

With the new doctor. No pressure, Amotai.

Then there was the holidays in Opotiki and Napier.

Picnic in the bush

Walking around a pa site near Napier

... a whanau hui at a marae next to a Taranaki beach ...

... a wonderfully relaxing weekend on a farm in the King Country ...

Amotai attacked by the dreaded super head lice of Benneydale

... the only beach swim of the summer at Whanganui ...

... the fabulous Art Deco weekend in Napier

... our just-finished week in Te Anau and Queenstown ...

Autumn in Arrowtown

... and today, watching the cricket in Wellington.

On the Basin Reserve's sacred turf. No pressure, Amotai

And you know what? Enough moaning. It's been a bloody excellent summer.

The travel bug young

We decided to start Amotai young with the travel, taking him on a plane trip to Dunedin when he was two months old. Hopefully, as the photo demonstrates, this is a good indication of how all future plane trips will go.

When thinking about travel, Tane and I have wondered whether or not Amotai will want to travel. Having parents that love it seems to be no indication of whether or not their kids will - I know plenty of people who never really got the travel bug because they had seen a lot as kids so developed a bit of a 'been there, done that' attitude toward travel. On the other hand, I have one friend actively trying to beat her mum's record of 53 countries. Some people who didn't travel growing up also have an extra thirst for it; Tane didn't go overseas until he was 23. I was 15 for my first, and only, family trip abroad, and that trip was definitely the turning point for me in terms of wanting to see more of the World. Three weeks in Hawaii blew my earnest teenage mind, and I signed up to AFS pretty much as soon as I got back to NZ.

.

Today, Amotai and I were playing with an inflatable plastic globe. He likes to hit said globe, as well as kick it with his feet. I asked him to point to where he would most like to travel to, and spun the globe in front of him. He reached out and clearly pointed to Sudan. I tried a second time, purposely trying to manipulate him into pointing at a more accessible country. It was to no avail, he pointed to Sudan again. Perhaps having a child that doesn't want to travel isn't such a bad thing after all ...

Do you think your desire to travel (or not) comes from your parents? I am interested ..

Parenthood

Yes, I am afraid that I am going to be one of those people who once blogged about foreign adventures and exciting places that, once having a child, blogs about little apart from them. Don't say you haven't been warned! I must also warn you that as my baby has broken cuteness records today, this post will be cheesier than a pizza with extra cheese. I hope that the proclamations of love for my son don't move you to vomit in your own mouth. I should probably put an rating on this entry - rated c, for corny.

If you are still reading, I wanted to write a list about the things I love about being a mum. Amotai is almost 5 months old now, and it's been an amazing time. I'd be lying if I said I loved every minute (especially the day of dyeing-all-the-washing-blue-after-being-pooed-on-doom), but I am having a pretty neat time. These are the things I am particularly enjoying:

1. When he smiles. So cheesy, but true.

2. The neat Mum-and-baby activities that are out there. I laugh at me of last year that worried about being bored while home with baby. If anything it's the opposite - there is so much to do. Active Mums, various other programmes that generally involve singing to the babies ... it's all quite fun.

3. Building on 2, re-learning all those old songs. Although, I confess to having to google the words to Rubber Ducky after some failed attempts to sing it during bath time.

4. Seeing the world through his eyes. It's hard to guess what will interest him - for example, today he ignored a small river, a native bird that flew across our path, and a colourful toy. In contrast, he spent ages stroking the couch.

An Amotai eye view of some sheep

It's a great ride, anyway, and I look forward to what the future brings.

Amotai

As I hope those of you who read this regularly (ie family and friends) know, we have been blessed with the arrival of our now five week-old son, Amotai. He is a delight.

Amotai, aka Captain Cute

Every now and then, despite the fact that he dominates our lives, I have a 'gosh, we have a child!' moment, and have to pinch myself. For all we've seen and done, this is by far the biggest thing that has happened to us.

I also have to pinch myself sometimes about how well it's going. You get a lot of people telling you how tough it is being new parents. If we had a dollar for every time someone told us we're not going to get a lot of sleep, we could have hired a wet nurse to ensure that we did.

Thankfully, Amotai is a good sleeper. He's got what they call good state control - which means he's pretty good at switching to sleep state. Many babies are not and I have a massive amount of sympathy for those parents. We feel very, very lucky. Touch wood, throw a horseshoe, cross our fingers and toes it continues. Not looking forward to his first illness, or teething.

It's not all fun and games.

Amotai is a constant source of amazement. There's the speed at which he is growing - he's packed on 1.5kg since birth, growing from 3.48 to 5kg, and is already too big for most of his newborn stuff. It's a bit sad really, having to pack away some of the lovely things people have given us after a few weeks.

Then there's the mundane things that are so fascinating. Holding him and watching him stare at you like he's trying to memorise your face. Seeing how the bath changes him in moments from hysterically crying over being naked to floating peacefully. Realising he can see you on the other side of the room. Best of all his watching him smile. He started imitating our smiles two weeks ago - last week he started smiling properly. He's also suddenly become interested in his dangly toys - the brightly coloured creatures that hang over his car seat and play gym. It all generates a rather manic excitment that childless people probably find bemusing.

Look! HE'S SMILING AT THE DANGLY TIGER!

There's also the stuff that's not directly about him. Watching Lauren be such a tender, loving mother. Feeling like a good dad as I feed him bottled Mum Milk, as he stares up at me with his big brown eyes.



These are happy times.